Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year-old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML
Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML
Today, my husband was changing our son’s overflowing diaper. Instead of getting up and walking the putrid mess to the bin, he decided to shoot it basketball-style. He missed and it hit the wall, sliding down leaving a huge sloppy streak. He expected me to clean it. FML
Today, I found out the guys I live with have an ongoing contest to see if they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with urine when they pee. I could forgive this in my seven-year-old son, but not my forty-year-old husband. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom after my 9 year-old nephew. Apparently nobody taught him to lift the seat when he pees, or how to aim properly, because when I sat down, I sat in his pee. FML
Today, my is still peeing on the toilet seat and floor. When will it get better? My son is 18 years-old and apparently can’t aim in the toilet. I had to sit on the pee he left on the toilet seat the other day. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mariamilian 20
try not to get too pissed off about it
Tejanoswhy 19
Make them clean up their own messes together
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (59)
Captain_Smalls 6
That is the father in all guys.
zeffra13 31
"Blame on each other"? You mean to tell me your husband doesn't clean up after himself?
Pop_And_Lock 14
Put your husband in diapers, put your son back in diapers.
queencabello 19
Hopefully they do the cleaning
tin_cup 27
Maybe if THEY clean THEIR mess, THEIR aim would get better quickly.
Migole 36
I'm sorry but you kind of deserve it if you're still cleaning his mess. If he's an adult, sit him down and have a calm talk that he either starts sitting down or cleans his spill right after he produces it. Besides the fact that my boyfriend sits down (and cleans the bathroom anyway), he would never be so selfish as to leave his pee behing for me to clean up. I really don't know why people put up with partners who act like children.
quackImapenguin 16
I definitely think that the husband should be the one to clean it up, but from my experience with roommates I know that sometimes it's a choice between cleaning it up yourself or living with the mess because your roommate/husband will simply not do the task and there's nothing you can do about it. Of course she should try to get her husband to deal with his own mess, but there's a good chance she's tried and it hasn't worked. I don't think she should be blamed for her husband treating her this way.
Mathalamus 25
tell them to sit down when they pee. it baffles me that this isn't taught.
EverettA 16
it's not that he/they can't aim, he/they just doesn't care enough to aim.
hipposteve 21
tell them to aim at a cheerio. my nephew would throw a cheerio in the toilet and practice like that :)
JusstJef 16
Aiming is alot harder than it looks!