Today, I found out the guys I live with have an ongoing contest to see if they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with urine when they pee. I could forgive this in my seven-year-old son, but not my forty-year-old husband. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML
Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year-old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML
Today, my wife caught our six-year-old son peeing in the bathroom sink. He pulled his little stool up in front, that he uses to brush his teeth, and was peeing in the sink. When we asked why, he said that he wanted to pee like a man, "like we do at football games." My son is using our bathroom sink as an urinal. FML
Today, I walked into a bathroom to find a dad telling his kids not play with the pee in the urinals. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I do this. I have printouts of my least favorite people, and try my best to hit them. Unfortunately, I made a mistake and learned after the first dozen times to tape the pictures to the /inside/ of the lid.
Tripartita 45
"…they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with /urine/ when they /pee/." The specificity is appreciated, OP. Otherwise, I would've assumed they used squirt-guns filled with Gatorade to hit targets while they peed.
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Comments (24)
Welshite 40
I do this. I have printouts of my least favorite people, and try my best to hit them. Unfortunately, I made a mistake and learned after the first dozen times to tape the pictures to the /inside/ of the lid.
Tripartita 45
Oh man, I'm starting to regret sending you that selfie you requested…
Welshite 40
It's okay, Trip. I made copies so I just replace your photo daily. I'm hygienic!
Tripartita 45
Well, that's a load off my mind. Hey, I just realized why you were so intent on me having my mouth open in the photo! Dandy…
laxdude101 13
A mans worthiness can be measured by his accuracy and range
Welshite 40
What does it mean if the dribble splits into three? I'm asking for a...friend.
ham814 8
lets not forget the altitude can also be inpressive
zaidthunder1 27
Or four?
ronbach 8
if all three streams make it into the bowl your good, your accuracy score is still 100% its when the one stream flys off at a 90° angle and nails the shower curtin... no good man.
Le_ponderer 14
Do as your username suggests and make them take off the targets too. That is not what water sports means...
hpandher 16
Make them clean it
MajorLAZ0R 9
Sounds amazing
CamBamShamDaMan 26
Well at least they don't have shit contests...
Tripartita 45
"…they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with /urine/ when they /pee/." The specificity is appreciated, OP. Otherwise, I would've assumed they used squirt-guns filled with Gatorade to hit targets while they peed.
RichardPencil 32
Are you upset that your husband is not letting your son win? Or do you want him to beat the kid to show how the world really works?
colton646746 15
Clean it up with their tooth brushes
RichardPencil 32
Pro tip: Don't serve asparagus at meals.