Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a year and half of being single, I was asked out on a date. I was asked by a married man. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He told me his wife had filed for divorce this morning (I had no idea he had ever been married) and then he sent me the e-receipt for my nachos along with his Venmo handle. FML
Today, I went on my first date since my husband passed six years ago. My date’s ex-wife happened to be at the restaurant he picked, and he confessed he expected her to be there. Without missing a beat, I told him that’s a perk of dating a widow, never running into the ex. Evidently a bit too dark for him. FML
Today, I had my first date in more than two years. As soon as I sat down, the first words out of his mouth were, "How many people have you had sex with? Not just recently, but ever. I don’t date women who’ve had more than 5 partners." I left before we'd even ordered drinks. FML
Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came, "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married." FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML
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Top comments
reeses1981 10
Next!
91hayek 31
I think you've been out of the game long enough that your douche radar is a bit off. Just re-calibrate and pick better guys, not that bottom of the barrel ass clown.
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Comments (91)
reeses1981 10
Next!
warsun 27
*ding*
Wakachulak 22
Get used to it OP, that's what online dating looks like.
sjbartholome 14
check please
davidisbeast 12
#49 when did OP state she was online dating?
brandoneyez1 25
Guess all he cared about was sex. Immaturity. Next.
zandalee 20
Not necessarily. You can learn a lot from a person by asking this question.
brandoneyez1 25
Please elaborate? What on earth could I learn about someone by asking this question as my opening question on a first date?
Pauline96_fml 20
Maybe the position in the relationship that they prefer to take. For instance do that prefer to be in control or be controlled. Also does that preference apply only to sex or also outside of the bedroom. Some people are different during sex compared to everyday life
DaLiquer 20
No sense beating around the bush!
Pleonasm 36
But beating around the bush is my favourite position!
\ 28
It's amazing how many slang terms are used that sound like they have sexual meanings. "Nutcase," "cold-****," "beating around the bush," etc.
Wrex 13
Amazing...
DEATHSNIGHTMARE 16
Point Him Towards the Exit.
ballerboy20 8
did you analyze this sentence before you wrote it?
Crazynocatlady 22
But definitely not through the back door.
HULK_SMASH_ 7
Man I'm sorry OP, you'd think he'd have a little more respect for you seeing that you are recently divorced. Drop him like it's hot, there are plenty of respectful and classy guys out there! Hope you find Mr. Right!
ksuth 25
It's disrespectful in any situation for that to be the first question the guy asks OP in my opinion, divorce or not.
HULK_SMASH_ 7
Actually what I was implying was that the guy would be over the top respectful because she's recently divorced, not that it was in anyways ok for him I even remotely ask that, cuz it def wasn't.
sjbartholome 14
Whos to say the guy knew about the divorce? It could have been a blind date? Did he randomly ask "Hey, have you ever been married before?" No he asked about the sex position. Disrespectful in any situation not just recently divorced
91hayek 31
I think you've been out of the game long enough that your douche radar is a bit off. Just re-calibrate and pick better guys, not that bottom of the barrel ass clown.
popprock 13
Your response was perfect xD
Vlortch_fml 6
Huhu, I just imagined a woman saying that to a man instead, how different it would be xD
barleyguy 17
Yup double standards and whatnot
foo_foo_the_snoo 14
Dating has probably changed since the last time you were single. Lots of douchebags out there. Pick wisely
XxXBadAshXxX 27
Welcome to the dating pool! That happens every now and then.
buttcramp 21
it happens, but don't get discouraged. there are really nice guys out there!
thestrangedude 10
I swear some guys think they are the star of a cheap 80's porno I mean come on show a little dating etiquette ask how their day was then move onto the nasty! ( sarcasm before you all get upset! )