Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
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Top comments
sigurd 11
You should be able to handle someones farts and take it as a joke when you are married with them. Return the favor :)
SirTalkaton 22
It's not true love until you can fart in front of them. Sounds like you guys are golden
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Comments (89)
laughmaster 9
He's just trying to have fun and joke a little, honestly you should be happy he feels comfortable enough to fart in front of you, it means more than we think it does
kim_larsa 5
Ewe. Divorce him and get a girlfriend. Trust me she'll have more respect to you than him.
MrConcise 35
The **** does gender have to do with it? That'd be tasteless humor to me as well.
Dilwann 27
I wanted to say that, but I'm glad you're first!
KVKdragon 26
Finally someone says it. I can appreciate joking and pranks between friends and loved ones but passing gas (on purpose) for the joke is just gross and repugnant to me -___-
Left4UrMum 6
I'd hope it's tasteless, too...
laughmaster 9
Honestly some people may not like it but it shows how comfortable you are with your partner, not exactly my ideal bonding method but not many people fart in front of their loved ones, a marriage where your husband is your lover and feels comfortable enough to act like your his best friend is good
MrConcise 35
I mostly just call my best friends derogatory terms that most people would find racist / homophobic, whereas my best friend that I sleep with gets the prostitute putdowns. Haha. There's never any potty humor, but I guess to each his own. I see your point, I just don't like that fart bonding is a legit thing.
ROSI3TH3CAT 18
At least it wasnt said the other way around!
kim_larsa 5
Divorce him and he a girlfriend.
hnz 13
Divorce is not a solution in this situation! OP's husband is just being playful. That's all. At the most I'll burp right at his face. Burp>fart :)
kieralumina 30
what does "and he a girlfriend mean"?
redbluegreen 41
Every rose had its thorn.
RedPillSucks 33
What do you do when you have a bush full of thorns and no roses?
Lost_Ghost 8
Surprises that makes the world go around. Sorry you took the blunt of it OP.
writergirl23 19
Do it like a brudda, do it like a dude!!
HoboWithACondom 8
YDI for not having a sense of humor. My girlfriend farts on my face all the time, I don't mind it. In fact, I like it.
Mossears133 15
Now I'm all for laughing at farts, but that's just nasty!
daboar 5
lol that's funny,you could have told him: but you married me, what does that make you?