Today, I tried to suspend a junior accountant for turning up to work late and stoned three separate times. Turns out his uncle is a part owner of the business, so the accountant got to smile his smug little grin as I got yelled at for not minding my own business. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned a co-worker called and awoke my boss at 3 a.m. to complain that I'd been "rude" to him. All I'd done was make a disapproving face because he'd been drinking and he was slobbering drunk, and wanted to charge his purchase to his employee account, a definite no-no when not on the clock. FML
Today, my slacker co-worker accused me of stealing because I got more hours than him. I was called into the manager's office and interrogated. They believed him, and sent me home for the day. I guess it pays off being the boss's kid. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for leaving on time. After months of management hounding us about our overtime, I get in trouble for doing what I was supposed to do. FML
Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML
Today, I had to go to work on my day off to suspend someone. Afterwards, I got a call saying I can't suspend the person in question because the supervisor who told me to suspend them was wrong. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML
Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You need to get another job. You can't work for such a corrupt company. They're either going to fail or they're part of The Cartel. Watch Ozark and see how that shit turns out.
DanielleinDC 34
You might want to look for another job if they're okay with an owner's nephew showing up stoned.
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Comments (9)
RichardPencil 32
You need to get another job. You can't work for such a corrupt company. They're either going to fail or they're part of The Cartel. Watch Ozark and see how that shit turns out.
mccuish 25
I’ve seen enough shows to know not to work in a corrupt workplace
Yolanda Patrice Evans 17
“Mind the business that pays you” 🙃 No one likes a rat 🐀 find another hobby
DanielleinDC 34
You might want to look for another job if they're okay with an owner's nephew showing up stoned.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Report him to the police.
motoikkyu 13
One of my favorite scenes in "Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension" is the neurosurgery scene with the immortal quote as they're doing brain surgery: "Don't tug on that, you don't know what it might be connected to." Corporate life is a minefield. It's a blessing to know what questions to ask. In every organization, there will be "fireproof" employees. In my last job, I was terminated because I failed to carry out surgeries the way my supervisor wanted me to. I am a doctor. He is a high-school graduate, and the owner's nephew. I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did, but every paycheck was an unexpected treasure!
bloopaloop 27
Conversely, you could just accept that as the way it is and keep your job. Besides that if the kid is not getting better prepared for life he’s going to fail big time at some point. You don’t have to be the manifester of that.
FueledByFate 24
Some people do their best work while stoned. 😂