Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
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Top comments
sigurd 11
You should be able to handle someones farts and take it as a joke when you are married with them. Return the favor :)
SirTalkaton 22
It's not true love until you can fart in front of them. Sounds like you guys are golden
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Comments (89)
thatbaybay 8
Boys will be boys but it sounds like you got one with a good sense of humor
buckdharma 38
#31- Good because my brain just farted.
avapaige1234 19
Some men are just plain disgusting
drjohnnyboy 15
Clever husband
Cazz91 21
Aerosmith created that fantastic song well. All though, your husbands "joke" kind of failed in a way. "Dude looks like a lady" - Sure, you told him that you were not a dude and reminded him that you were a lady after he passed his gas on you but I don't entirely see how you "look like a lady" when you already are a lady. You are not a male individual that looks like a female despite the fact he made his come back that way out of a reminder that you are not a dude. It is a bit of a backfire on him. This makes you a super lady since being a lady in the first place would double up on "looks like a lady". I feel no pity towards your husband with the ultimate wrath that this super lady will dish back out to him in sweet revenge some day (harmless revenge I hope).
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
Jeez, and people call ME anti-joke chicken for overanalyzing jokes/humorous situations. This takes the cake.
russfml 31
That is hilarious, I would high five your husband
skyeyez9 25
The positive side is you have every right to place your bare butthole an inch from his nose while he is sleeping and fart as revenge.
kikks_xx 10
WOW you need to grow up. Being a "lady" doesn't stop you from farting does it? so stop moaning about smelling someone else's fart.
ShoyuSauceSoup 26
Okay, that was not very polite. But he has a great musical taste. Aerosmith rocks, and I like this song.
KayAnn19 10
Lighten up. It's all in good fun