Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML
Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML
Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
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Top comments
ironichalibut 24
At least you're all alive though, although it sounds like most will wish they weren't in the morning
GemmaStyles 14
Hey on the bright side you won't be the one with the hangover in the morning
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Comments (47)
ironichalibut 24
At least you're all alive though, although it sounds like most will wish they weren't in the morning
jerzjay 17
I live for those hangovers in the morning, means I had a successful night.
GemmaStyles 14
Hey on the bright side you won't be the one with the hangover in the morning
alyssawatters 7
Lesson learned: never volunteer to be the Designated Driver.
CharresBarkrey 16
DD's usually get free soda at most bars, too! It's not all bad.
twaumat 28
that's not how you make friends...
Mr_Satan 11
Next time tell them if they have enough money to drink, they have enough to pay for a cab.
demonwolfmaster 26
Or, be smart and not use your own car. It's the first rule of DD never use your own car.
chabelo 10
well if you wanted to make a good impression there are some other ways that don't involve taking care of drunk people
dead_insects 18
seems like they left an impression of their own...
baseballdude1283 18
Always a good story atleast :P
Drifting 21
I hate when good intentions fail...sorry OP
SirTalkaton 22
Oh the joys of being the DD. Sorry OP, now you know not to do that again.