Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML
Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
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Top comments
McMike10 1
Maybe he thought you looked fetching
saintdalman 4
Do you do tricks with peanut butter too?
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Comments (130)
XxBiggyExX 0
This reminds of Brian Griffin
ladiesman219 4
That one episode with new Brian xD
Jacobt24 19
Or the episode where he farts and wakes himself up . . .
jacob128 4
Well dont try to hold it bc youll blow up (south park)
hawaiianfire 0
She has a future in Brazilian fart **** (south park)
ikickgingers 15
Not related to post/// When I think south park I now equate that to the human centipede. I just threw up.
BrianAlarcon 0
Your like Brian from family guy!!
GrammarNazzzzzi 6
His what?
thatbritkid 0
#18 nice pic
alone_unafraid 0
Your vs. you're. FAIL
Livzii 5
wow that dog has problems
miserypoison 13
Doggystyle too.
itschrisssybro 8
Those must be some pretty bombing farts for you to wake yourself up...
Buzzy123 7
He just means you give him a bone alot and wants to you to fetch it. (If you know what I mean.) ^.^
bcgirl69 0
Omg my hubby tells me I do the same thing! Lmao
Biggy2010 3
haha. cracked me up. can you imagine it. she farts and starts to smell it and starts to twitch and wakes up. funny as hell.
ArthursLifeSucks 2
My g/f from back in the day said one night she rolled over and cuddled up against my back and when she wrapped her arm around me, I farted on her. Looking back now, the bitch deserved it.