Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML
Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML
Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML
Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML
Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML
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Top comments
IllestRated 17
That's quite the SITuation.
tellyc 27
Atleast they are obedient ?
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Comments (140)
dakatabg 31
Teach them to take orders only from you
Stevieray20 13
This is why police use german when they tell there dogs to attack!
irishmaiden78 23
A good firm Auss can call off an attack if the dogs aren't trained to obey the handler and specific people only. A platz will also make them drop to the ground usually... German is over used.
Sniper_Chick4110 20
You can put the commands t other languages. But be careful of hand signals. Sometimes a dog will follow the hand signals not the words so the command is useless. You could say anything and still get the same result.
andits 21
Those are some two well trained dogs.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
You should have just kept going back and forth until he got close enough, like red light, green light. "Attack!" "Sit." "Attack!" "Sit!" "Attack!" "OH GOD GET HIM OFF OF ME"
ltjohnson93 11
Ohhh my god funniest comment I've read in fml
mcrepas 19
You must be new... Welcome
hellnosucka 27
Next time OP's command should go like this: "Attack and don't sit. Attack and don't sit..."
warsun 27
Might be abit much for a dog to understand 72
Mortoli 30
I was just thinking that after I read ops comment lol. Although if they that trained what if robber told them to attack? You think they would turn to attack? Lol
lordslaya53 14
"Attack" "Sit" "Attack" "Sit" "Sit" "Attack... OH GOD"
TabooSushi 24
This is why I've trained every dog I've ever owned in a made up language like Elvish or Al Bhed, something that it isn't likely anyone else would know. Limits the possibility of a bad person commanding my animals against me.
KatsFaerie 7
Al Bhed for the win! Al Bhed vun dra feh!
buttcramp 21
23, you're awesome. I like your style.
chaseb95 12
You're supposed to train them in a foreign language. That's what security and armed forces do
EdenCrystal 21
That's odd that they would obey the robber, german shepherds are generally hostile at default to strangers, and then they play off of you and how you treat them to see how they should behave towards the stranger. If you were acting hostile towards the stranger, the shepherds SHOULD attack him/her. My guess is that you or someone else trained them to be friendly to all strangers, practically killing their guard instinct.
irishmaiden78 23
And thus why my dog is trained in a different language that not too many others know. Also my dogs are trained to listen to a select few, not strangers.
DeeDeeJay 15
If I was in your situation, I would've grabbed the closest weapon and start beating him with it.
coppersmith 13
Hahahahaha. They are too cute! :)