Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML
Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML
Today, I almost got attacked by a dog. The dog that occupies the same house as I do. The reason? He didn't recognize me because - get this - I was wearing a beanie. A hat made me unrecognizable to my dog. FML
Today, I was shopping when I got charged at by a really big dog, causing me to panic and fall. The store won’t do anything because the cunt of an owner lied and said it’s her “service dog.” FML
Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML
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Top comments
lyndifluff 6
the poodle doesn't bother me. but I would like to know why your dog thought you were a burglar. lol
shannonreneee 11
I am confused at why it's so hard to explain that your dog attacked you. Owning a poodle, fair enough though.
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Comments (161)
shannonreneee 11
I am confused at why it's so hard to explain that your dog attacked you. Owning a poodle, fair enough though.
Pokeemon 3
poodles are cute :)
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
that's one badass poodle
Katie_the_Great 6
Poodles are ugly
ImaginaryFoe 1
Poodles are big, nasty dogs. I don't know why you own one either, OP. BTW, I'm adding the "I don't know which is worse/harder/sadder/etc." ending to the list of trite, overused FML endings. Dig deeper, posters.
insanesna1l 0
Did i miss the part where Chuck Norris has died and taken over the soul of your poodle??
Flyin_Turtle14 0
lol number 29
UnluckyChicka 0
OP should just say the poodle was him and his ex girlfriends since girls (usually) are the ones who like poodles. just say you ended up keeping it
sourgirl101 29
24, Imaginaryfoe, your comment got me laughing! But don't knock the formula. It's hard to get an FML posted. (: I heard poodles are one of the most intelligent dogs (maybe not this one) but they are always shaking and that freaks me out.
torio123 27
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT AGAINST POODLES. I luurrvve poodles I have toy poodle and he is TOUGH he could eat you with one bite. I swear he has some relation to chuck norris
seanders 10
Poodles are great footballs..)
biass 0
#50- That's rude, I'm sure you know not to play with food. Poodles are cool, but I hate how people dress them up and treat them like little dolls. They're DOGS! No dog should be subject to torture like that...
sterlingarcher 1
I agree with 23 poodles are ugly!..
mfmylifesrsly 30
imaginaryfoe not all poodles are big.. and OP owning a poodle is ok, as long as you don't style it's fur that is..haha
hellogoodbye1996 6
poodles may be a little girly, but you see a convertible and 9 times out of 10 it's a man..convertibles are way girly.
petrc1290 0
hellogoodbye no they aren't ur just gay
dre_bro11 12
OP, is it's name Fi-Fi?
lesleykay 0
46- That's true, poodles are like the 2nd most intelligent dog breed. Or so I've read. My mom has a toy poodle who suffers terribly from little dog syndrome. She's one cranky bitch.
JenL_fml 7
There's nothing wrong with a man owning a poodle. They're highly intelligent, and they're athletic. They're an all around breed of dog, so it shouldn't be bad if you own a poodle.
JenL_fml 7
bad*
C6Racer 0
My former boss owned to Royal Standards. Even though the older one was deaf, together, they were smarter than most humans.
MissBunny25 0
*presses metaphorical like button*
RedPillSucks 33
Those are toy poodles. How about the poodle like the one in the movie "The Hulk" That was one badass dog. It had that "Ima rip the throat off the next person that comments on my grooming" look.
Dumeril 0
Poodles are hideous, I do like how fluffy they are though. Poodle for a grown man? You must be secure in your masculinity, so props to you.
ihasbrains 10
How about he solves his problem by not telling everyone?
chris71sk8r 8
Dig any deeper and we'll be lost in INCEPTION!
nerdchic 5
poodles are mean as shit!
tatababe 1
haha OP the poodle PWND u!!
Infamous_Hawk 6
You should have told them that your dog was a burglar protection system prototype.
seekndestroy 3
Not a stellar start for the system then. Attacking the home-owner is a small kink that needs to be worked out.
rebekahah 7
25- I'm already on it. ;)
lyndifluff 6
the poodle doesn't bother me. but I would like to know why your dog thought you were a burglar. lol
sailorzoe 14
Poodles are naturally aggressive unless you train them well. That's why.
SchiTzenGiglez 0
Behind that fluffy fur lies the heart of natural born killer
missrit 0
I'd also like to know how OP knew the dog thought he was a robber. Maybe the he just pissed the dog off!
coNsperAZI 4
poodles are weak, dude is a puss that's why he owns a poodle in the first place
ugliness 6
115 yeah because dogs can't bite, scratch and tear chunks of meat off prey..... I hope youre a troll, either that or you're stupid
SchiTzenGiglez 0
death to the troll!!!
techweed 12
maybe you're "questioning"
NineFishMffns_fml 0
Did you break a window while wearing a ski mask or something?! Well, at least you know your dog is a good watch dog! (:
Livinia 11
It'll be harder to explain why you thought your dog was a robber.
A7X_LoVeee 10
lolwut?
mazzera_fml 7
errrrr
Livinia 11
Oops, I mean the other way around. Haha.
marmlr339 14
the other way round... exactly what I wad thinking. and how would a poodle even attack?
yuggi1 11
45: My dog is a Chihuahua and he's quite a vicious thing. :/
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Chihuahua?! XD That's like saying bunnies are scary lmao
SchiTzenGiglez 0
damneded ankle biters
MissBunny25 0
55 you don't think bunnies are scary, fool? You should >:( ever seen Monty Python?
SchiTzenGiglez 0
haha Winning
sus346 2
Lol Monty Python. Haha, awesome.
awesomeloser14 0
wait a sec whats wrong with having a poodle -.- seriously that doesn't make sence unless your questioning your sexality, you sir are! 0.0
KaintukeeBob 13
I agree. There is nothing wrong with owning a poodle. Derision of choices such as clothing colors, musical preferences, cars, pet breeds, and hobbies as being 'feminine' is just silly - your hobbies and desires (outside of sexual desires, obviously) don't make you gay, they make you who you are. Desiring intimate relations with your own gender makes you gay. In short, YDI for putting yourself into a situation where your dog would confuse you for a burglar and for being excessively homophobic ;)
flpgrc1 0
i own a poodle, i'm prety shure abut my sexuality, my dog loves my, i love it, yea your life sucks...
KaintukeeBob 13
@118: Hey, man, what you and your dog do behind closed doors is nobody's business but yours. But do the English language a favor: use spell check.
kei1108 13
WIN. haha best comment ever.
emmathecat 2
eh, either way I don't see how it's such a big deal, lol.
Tuesdays76 0
What? Poodle? That's not a real dog. Just a glorified cat with barking abilities.
doc_j 0
who care what kind of dog it is bro rock it if you got a poodle. chicks will find dig the fact that u can own one and be cool with it. unless its ur girls dog.
DjeePee 25
Why would you tell it to everyone? I would think that 'attacked by my own dog' is something you talk about with friends, family, your neighbours...you know, the people who are aware that you have a poodle.
hey_its_kristi 0
yeah, I don't understand why the breed of dog matters in this situation.