Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because, "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Dude, gross
Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML
Keep your secrets, do your own laundry
Today, I found out that before my grandma washes my clothes, she smells my underwear to "make sure they're dirty." FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Febreze
Today, my mom yelled at me because even though I shower thoroughly twice a day, I still stink. My mom showers once a week, never wears deodorant, and smells like roses. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Extreme dating
Today, I had to have a serious talk with my new girlfriend about her terrible hygiene. In the two weeks we’ve been dating, she admitted to only having showered "once or twice." She doesn’t see a problem with this, even though the first (and last) time she came to my place, she smelled like death. FML
BO Central
Today, I was loudly asked if I'd rubbed poop all over myself this morning. I shower three times a day, brush my teeth for 10 minutes twice a day, and wear copious amounts of antiperspirant. FML
Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML
Health hazard
Today, multiple customers have complained about my body odor. Not only can I not smell anything, but I shower three times a day and brush my teeth seven times a day. FML
Clean
Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML
Top comments
Nyolia 11
Granny slap her.
borkchop1992 15
old people have a even more peculiar one about them
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Comments (94)
Nyolia 11
Granny slap her.
DrIDGAF 7
"Well Granny, that smell is actually the smell of your soiled undergarments. Let's go change those for you."
Eyeliner_fml 0
Some people shower twice a day, it's refreshing and keeps you clean, I don't see why that's a bad thing.
hemz_fml 13
I agree with granny
Lauren10102 3
If I showered that much, my hair would be sooooooo stringy! plus it takes hours for my hair to air dry. So basically if I was a fat, I would either have to smell queer or be a fat, wet and stringy headed person. OMG I would finally be able to be a nappy headed ho!!!!
StoryOfTheYear 15
To be honest, the reality is that most old people have an odd, unplaceable smell about them >.>
PutItIn 8
Either drop a few pounds or shower more
lisaonastick 7
Twice a day? Unless you're moisturizing after each shower, you'll strip your skin of natural oils. Unless you're really dirty or sweaty, showering several times a day sounds like obsessive compulsive behavior to me.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
It must be nice to be old. You can say whatever you want and people just deal with it. But twice a day is a little much.. it'll dry out your skin. Scented body lotion? I know plenty of bigger people that smell perfectly fine, maybe OP just has hygiene issues that did need to be addressed.
tona01 16
I think the smell depends on how fat a person is, because a obese person sweats a lot more because he has a "fat coat" that raises his/her temperature. (no i'm not saying OP is obese) Ohh and the shower twice a day thing is acceptable if you do a lot of sports, because after you do sports your skin is full with the toxins you transpired while you where doing sports, if not your body will re-absorb them. ask any coach or sport doctor
Iheartfunny 1
Its funny how old ladies can say anything and make it sound nice reminds me of the time I was in this store and the first thing the old woman at the register said was "dont steal anything" (btw im black) it took me like half an gour to realise I was pissed off
Laners561769 9
I'd reply with: The pillsbury dough boy's chunky, and he smells like cookies.
kevsnev 7
I shower twice and I'm not fat.
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
OP should tell her that it tends to be OLD people... either way, showering twice a day is a good idea
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
mind you OP, even though its OLD people that tend to smell, showering twice a day is not a bad idea
MyScrewedUpLifeS 0
old people don't filter, get used to it ;p
ally_85 1
it's yeast......for realsies that's that curious smell....put some over the counter anti fungal cream and that'll clear up :)
NTimmy 2
Workout if u hav to
azkollias08 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Old people r wise I'd listen and go lose some weight
livlafluv100 2
Idk..... I think she's just used to the smell of mothballs and everything else smells weird
xleanne_aLly 23
Perfume op, use it. ;)
CryMoreFMLs 15
2 - Loosing weight isn't easy. I've dieted and worked my ass off for 2 years in wrestling, only to loose 16lbs. I still have my moobs and rolls, which is baffling to me as I hardly eat anything anymore. No, I'm not anorexic nor bullemic. I choose not to eat to maintain my weight.
elmousey 5
I work with a couple of larger people and they will try to mask the smell with cologne/perfume. It doesn't work.
mssdotches 17
Agree, although it was a bit harsh
tona01 16
76, it all depends on your metabolism, everybody has a different one, that lets them lose or gain weight at different speeds, for example i can lose weight very fast but i gain weight just as fast
katiebailey85 2
Wow 87 made my day haha
Tookie22 5
76. I'll call BS on that one. seriously. if you cut enough calories from your diet. including sugars while exercising you lose wait. instead of "not eating to maintain weight" (slows your metabolism), which is probably what's F'n you. eat healthier. keep exercising and take multivitamins. you'll see a difference. OP lose weight or get a squeaky clean shower every day
naybear0118 0
ass hole
azkollias08 8
R u calling me the asshole?
demczyss 8
Eating only a little amount or eating sometimes will not help you lose weight. You need to eat healthy, regular meals and exercise to lose wight. Practically staving yourself will do you no good.
Nooneslooking 0
Sweat isn't a curious sent lol
Nooneslooking 0
**scent
CryMoreFMLs 15
No, it's the stashes of food we keep under our rolls so we don't ever miss our hourly meal.
satanic_fml 13
carry a stick of deoderant while youre at it
stevenJB 25
Exodus ftw!
spyman178 0
Curiosity did kill her cat
bball234 6
..i dont even?
xlord 27
I think he's saying something about OP's curious smell which is so bd it killed "the curious cat"
skinthesnakes 6
you have posted two comments both have been thumbed down. just quit?
SW500 13
The ****?
spyman178 0
Yes but this one wasn't thumbed down do many times that it was removed. Can't you see the progress?
borkchop1992 15
old people have a even more peculiar one about them
Lauren10102 3
ehh, it's just a combination of food and soap.
howslife123 0
And medicine and unscented lotion
TonyLeePrice 0
Put that bitch in a home!
BelleBelle_fml 11
#1- You really need to respect your elders a whole lot more than you do. #2- I've worked in convelesant hospitals as both a nursing assistant and an LVN, it's not a very nice place to be. Granted there are some very nice ones out there with staff that actually care about their residents, but they are very rare. I've seen a lot of what goes on in there and it's not always very pleasant. That's why I chose to become a nurse so that I can at least raise the standard of care given at my place of employment. I know I can't fix everything but I can do the best I am capable of to ensure the quality of care that I give is up to par. Thank you for your time. Good day.
XxDancerGirlxX 17
I know exactly how you feel. I'm in nursing classes now. I'm a CNA at a nursing home, it's awful there. The people do not care!!
scrappy23 4
So if your grandma tells you to shower more ...bam put that granny in a home!
thatgirlyouhate 10
I don't see why we should treat our elders different to people our own age, just because they've lived a bit longer.
skinthesnakes 6
but grandma you smell like death!
lopezk 0
lmao
WCARlover 35
At least she said "curious" smell instead of "rancid, disgusting, foul" or any of those words...
nadhirah 4
Some thin people are smelly too. It's all bout personal hygiene. No need to stereotype.
Sydnayy 4
Sure thin people can be smelly, but overweight people(depending on how big they are) can't wash everywhere they need to. Also it's usually more tiring and sweat inducing when they do simple things. Just sayin'!
all4pooh 4
Say at least I don't smell like moth balls