Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because, "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML
Today, I found out that before my grandma washes my clothes, she smells my underwear to "make sure they're dirty." FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me because even though I shower thoroughly twice a day, I still stink. My mom showers once a week, never wears deodorant, and smells like roses. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I had to have a serious talk with my new girlfriend about her terrible hygiene. In the two weeks we’ve been dating, she admitted to only having showered "once or twice." She doesn’t see a problem with this, even though the first (and last) time she came to my place, she smelled like death. FML
Today, I was loudly asked if I'd rubbed poop all over myself this morning. I shower three times a day, brush my teeth for 10 minutes twice a day, and wear copious amounts of antiperspirant. FML
Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML
Today, multiple customers have complained about my body odor. Not only can I not smell anything, but I shower three times a day and brush my teeth seven times a day. FML
Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML
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Top comments
Nyolia 11
Granny slap her.
borkchop1992 15
old people have a even more peculiar one about them
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Comments (94)
Amrel 10
Old people can smell really nasty sometimes. The fat people that i meet smell because they dont take showers. Its kinda disgusting
xrainbowshadowx 17
Grandma knows best :P If she's telling you that you should keep a good hygiene, she obviously cares for you, and this may be a hint that you should lose some weight.
perdix 31
You need to get in the crevices between the fat rolls with soap and water twice a day, and then powder that area. Otherwise, smelly bacteria and fungus with thrive and multiply in your damp, moist folds. It's going to be easier to lose weight than to keep up the hygiene regimen needed to maintain an acceptable aroma.
IndiRae 9
How to bs Not a Fat Stinky 101, curtoiusy of perdix.
IndiRae 9
Fuuuuuck, lemme fix that last derpy comment of mine; How to be Not a Fat Stinky 101, courtesy of perdix.
youcantwin 8
Damn, that's crazy
cheerleader1011 0
I think she's trying to tell you your fat..so go lose weightt.
hassan1122331 0
exercise never killed anyone...and maybe you don't shower at all? and she was telling you to shower more then that your fat
perdix 31
Exercise kills plenty of people! Cyclists get hit by cars and joggers drop dead from heart attacks and heatstroke all the time. Statistically speaking, being fit will give you a better chance of having a healthy life than being a fat couch potato, but it's not a Cloak of Invincibility.
BiancaW 0
It's funny because she's calling you fat.
remembermepunk 0
You deserve it for being fat.
Mxpxdude189 0
it's true...
Alaskarocks 0
Your fault for being fat. Or "big boned".