Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML
Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, I found out that before my grandma washes my clothes, she smells my underwear to "make sure they're dirty." FML
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Top comments
Omfgitsmia 15
Axe is cheap. Try some big boy cologne, hm?
Volcan_fml 22
Seriously, if I met a guy that used nothing but Axe products, my ovaries would recede so far I'd have them for eyeballs.
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Comments (107)
Nickb55 16
She was probably just being nice!
MrsDruidess 23
nice, or overwhelmed by the smell. You need more than good hygiene to get a girl to notice you. But props cause some guys can't even get that down. P.S. They like it when you notice them-as in- they are not going to come to you, you have to go get them.
worthlessACfan 11
yeh, nice grandma ^~^
killinpoptarts 9
Don't worry.... All girls love astronauts so I guess it just works it's way from who saw the first one to the present day
laden_swallow09 35
Huh?
arandomusernameaa 20
it's a lynx advert... youtube it ;)
RinkuTheHero 13
#88 A lot of people on here are Americans, so they probably wern't aware of the commercial or the fact that Axe is called Lynx every where else in the world. Hell, even I'm only aware of that because I was looking up Axe on wikipedia at one point!
TheComedyAudio 29
At least someone noticed you. Some people have it way worse
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
Like dis kid would know... look at that golden boy face. ^^
mFUNdo21 17
dat face. me gusta -__-
CrazyGirlfriend 21
each has their own taste, I suppose.
amb95x 17
Well remember OP, grandma loves you!.. Shame about your shampoo though. Must smell like knitting.
Readoll 13
Grandmas seem to notice everything...
Omfgitsmia 15
Axe is cheap. Try some big boy cologne, hm?
Volcan_fml 22
Seriously, if I met a guy that used nothing but Axe products, my ovaries would recede so far I'd have them for eyeballs.
184886837272837 32
I find old spice works way better... it's a cleaner sent
whyisitme12 19
BODY WASH CHOICES Axe = arrogant Dove men care = sensitive Old spice = Terry Crews
JustKittyKat 24
And please, OP, tone it down. Not everything needs to scream, "SMELL ME" If you want to be noticed, you're going about it the wrong way. Be the nice, funny guy that just so happens to smell nice. Trust me, women love that guy. Bonus tip; if your spray isn't overwhelming, the girl has to get closer to smell you. No lady likes to smell you before she even sees you coming. You're an allergy hazard.
shyeahh_fml 19
But 31, my dove men plus care bar soap has shea butter to help moisturize my skin AND it smells nice. Hmm...I was going to ask about how that means I'm sensitive but I may see your point now.
JACKxRAWR 22
The dark temptation one is the only AXE/LYNX product anyone should use.
Hashk 6
I agree! Axe isn't the most pleasant smell. Get real cologne like "Bleu de Chanel" or Ralph Lauren's "Polo Blue". There are a ton of others. Just look some up!
AustinDenton 22
Your axe must smell like Stetson. You smell exactly like grandpa.
xsarax_fml 10
I say don't try too hard.. when the time is right you'll meet someone. In the meantime, word of advice, you might be overdoing it with the Axe. Too much axe actually repels girls..
laden_swallow09 35
I'm a guy, and I can attest to this. There should be a serving size or something printed on the can!
nop200 3
Axe in any quantity is still nasty, but when you practically bathe in it, it becomes just downright nauseating.
xsarax_fml 10
Personally, I think whatever scent a guy uses, he should use the least amount possible. That way a girl would get closer and closer. Trust me I know what I'm talking about. lol
shyeahh_fml 19
118, he is bathing in it.
angelitared 27
Grandmas know Best!
perdix 31
"They" don't tell you the chemicals in Axe only works on GILFs.
Soloman212 28
You're right, they don't work on anyone. (I'm going to sit in a corner and pretend that's what you meant. Please, please..)