Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML
Today, my granny called me to, "Come change me please, I just peed." I interrupted what I was doing, walked over to her bed, pulled down her covers and was just about to go for the pad when she said, "Actually... I'm still peeing. Come back in a couple of minutes." FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML
Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML
Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML
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Top comments
ScaughtieHolden 11
Well I hope she was at least wearing a diaper.
cheekyterier 13
I'll bet you were pissed. That's shitty. Come at me, bro.
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Comments (118)
ScaughtieHolden 11
Well I hope she was at least wearing a diaper.
motoxracer156 5
You must have been pissed
saintsrocksocks 10
If she was wearing a diaper... Then why the hell would this be I fml?!?!
flipfloperson 5
...because the grandma still pissed in OP's new car? Diapers aren't completely leak proof, and they don't completely mask smells either.
jetsown08 21
In Soviet Russia, diaper wear you!
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
I hope you have leather seats so the clean up is a lot easier.
ScaughtieHolden 11
In Soviet Russia, people probably still wear diapers...
swankmrpancake 8
In Soviet Russia car pees on you!
KM96 24
Gosh! If not it would be the most horrible, disgusting thing to clean up! It's horrible for anyone, especially in a new car!! Sorry for you OP - I hope it doesn't smell for weeks!
onlychildFTW 34
And this is why long car trips especially older or younger people should be in diapers. Just in case. I always wear one just in case as well plus then you don't have to worry about finishing a gas station or something every 2 hours. I feel bad for OP if the seat got ruined! FYL OP.
atitud3 12
You wear diepers just becauase you're lazy? I got a question for you man. How does it feel to be a virgin?
TheWindowLicker 13
Well, 85, they may or may not be a virgin. But at least they can spell DIAPER.
Here4theshow 17
This is when Depends would come in great.
free2speak 14
#80, you're related to that crazzzzy lady who drove cross-country to see her ex-bf while wearing NASA diapers, aren't you? Don't even lie because the rest of us normal folks use a thing called "restroom" when we have to go pee. Even pulling on the side of the road to do your business is acceptable. what's not acceptable is a grown man/woman wearing diapers when they have a perfectly fit bladder.
Kefka91 15
102 - stfu, it's not that uncommon/weird for perfectly healthy people to use diapers when going on long trips. Actually, it's a pretty common practice in Japan.
starwind3438 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If I hear a " you must have been pissed off" joke I'll falcon punch them. They are just as bad as the "that was shitty" ones. Just my opinion.
cheekyterier 13
I'll bet you were pissed. That's shitty. Come at me, bro.
retyi43 14
same
starwind3438 9
**** you.
mduffy08 8
**** me
TwentyFourXXIV 13
20 - Your comment made my day xD
swankmrpancake 8
That's such a crappy pun anyways and way over used. Let's use the word fecal matter instead for a while. :P
chel325 2
U pissed bro?
Axipiter 24
Get at me wolf!
zombiebombatron 6
Have you been traumatized with piss? Otherwise we don't give a ****, well either way we don't care...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Falconnnn.....
TourettesGuyFTW 26
PUNCH!!!!
ThunderLightTSV 31
RIP captain unviable
ebonyirony 29
She was probably embarrassed too. Just clean it up and remember your grandma is more important than your car.
zack11289 3
Not to be insensitive or anything, but if grandma were to kick the bucket, OP would still have a ride to work, the grocery store, etc. it would devastating though
greenalleycat 4
^^ Yea but it's not like he's choosing between his grandma and his car is it? Instead he's pissed off because she basically spontaneously peed in his new car, which will be absolutely awful to try and get rid of...
citymayer 7
I don't care if you're my grandma, my mom, or Jesus, you piss in my car you're cleaning it up and praying you aren't walking home.
tournamentdecide 33
You don't know how his grandma treats him. I would favor my car over my grandmother for the simple fact that she is a one-minded bitch who likes the dog shit building on the bottom of her shoe more than me. The only reason I would give her a ride would be because my mom makes me play nice.
Popcornography 10
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
Zedd_fml 8
OP, your grandma just marked her territory.
KingOfAmazing 9
All I can think of is, "Aw, that's nasty" in Cleaveland's voice from Family Guy.
mk58 31
If she was wearing a diaper, I don't think it would have been too much of an FML.
Axipiter 24
It may still be. Depends.
Tuesdaythe10th 11
^ Depends lolol
lilpowers 3
Maybe OP had to change her diaper because she couldn't.
ebonyirony 29
But in all honesty, I'd rather pee in a nice car instead of a gas station.
jetsown08 21
The **** is wrong with you?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Ugh, you just ruined the moral lesson you gave in your earlier comment.
ebonyirony 29
I was kidding in order to underline the stereotype that gas station bathrooms are gross. Sorry.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
He/she is a dog. It's to be expected.
nutorious 1
Love ur photo!!
ebonyirony 29
But in all honesty, I'd rather pee in a nice car instead of a gas station.
ebonyirony 29
But in all honesty, I'd rather pee in a nice car instead of a gas station.
ebonyirony 29
But in all honesty, I'd rather pee in a nice car instead of a gas station.
UnionsSuck 5
Grandma is a real OG
hockeyoceancity 13
So thats why grandparents always have a distinct smell... It's piss.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Original Granny. Fo' shizzle.