Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandmother's excuse for not going to my college graduation was because she'd already bought her bingo card. FML
Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML
Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML
Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML
Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I hosted a family game night with her grandparents and her father, who was bringing his "friend" who he'd been dating for a couple of weeks. It was my mom. FML
Today, my grandma and I went to visit one of her friends. The elderly gentleman told me I'd grown into a very beautiful young woman, to which my grandma replied, "Have you started in on the sherry early this evening, Henry?" FML
Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
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Top comments
beckiebear 15
Party with grandma! You should have just drank with her and taken a cab home. Live it up, OP!
pistachiopanda 19
Ever stop to think that she invited you out of pity? Harsh.
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Comments (64)
Carime 2
Well, Skippy-I hate to be the one to point out several more reasons as to why you qualify to post on FML; but, I feel it is my civic duty to help you pinpoint the obstacles that stand in your way to becoming a human-being. First, Grandma rocks, is a remarkable woman and she, very clearly, blows your ass out of the water, in that she has way more social prospects than you. I would've been stoked to spend that time having a blast with such a kind and feisty little lady. You should've said, No Thanks since you have shown us that you'd have rather spent that time alone in your parent's basement with your action figures. Next, that chip on your shoulder from your self-inflicted attitude problem looks like it weighs a ton! Guess, what? You have the choice to decide to stop sucking. Leave that shit to the serial killers, priests and politicians, Tiger. Shame on you for treating yourself like less than zero!
BDA_fml 5
Ha, It's not her first rodeo!! You go grandma!!
DanielleinDC 34
Did your grandma at least win anything? Heck, you may as well have played. You might have won something.
mattyconks 9
your grandma knows how to get turnt up better than you
dragoongirl90 34
What the **** is up with your user name???