Today, my new calculus teacher taught everything using nothing but soccer terms and analogies, just so the resident idiot meatheads would understand. I didn't learn a thing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML
Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML
Today, a professor approached me in the hall to ask if, since I'm a math major, I could tutor one of her communications majors in a required Calculus course. Apparently the volunteer tutor the school provides "is a complete dumbass." I'm the school's volunteer tutor. FML
Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML
Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML
Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML
Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML
Today, my math teacher told me to learn how to say "welcome to wal-mart". FML
Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML
Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML
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Top comments
Creshto 1
Does that mean you're less intelligent than the idiot meatheads?
flashback.miss 28
okay, just because one student has trouble understanding doesn't mean the whole class should have to be subject to that. maybe you could volunteer as a tutor or refer to a math help center>
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Comments (94)
flashback.miss 28
okay, just because one student has trouble understanding doesn't mean the whole class should have to be subject to that. maybe you could volunteer as a tutor or refer to a math help center>
MortenM 17
Maybe OP was the one not getting it.
GreatGeak 8
my favorite is when someone asks a question the teacher recently answered. ....i just want to slap em.
patrickalamo 48
After all soccer is a game we let children play till they can handle a real sport like football. Your professor is working with the children so they can step up with the big boys.
wiccaantje 21
Football: only popular in USA Football (known as soccer in the USA): global favorite sport Yeah... not a real sport...
NoMore_CoolNames 14
There's no CFL? NFL games don't sell out when played in London? The AFL in Australia isn't real?
Andrew891 1
it's funny how people just think of the penalties but not the training needed for soccer.
razi1 20
That just sucks, go on the Internet or switch classes op
Creshto 1
Does that mean you're less intelligent than the idiot meatheads?
Nordrag 26
Or it simply means that OP doesn't understand soccer. I sure as hell dont, so if someone explained something by relating it to soccer I'd be lost.
ajh557 22
#3 I concur maybe op is the meathead. Soccer is a smart sport that has many strategies. the fact that the person thinks soccer = meat head shows how stupid op is in the first place.
OHvball11 2
Just because some one is an athlete does not mean they are a "meathead". Athletes have to keep certain grades to even play and I bet most are a lot smarter and actually do something with their lives than kids that just go to school and do nothing else.
Mexico_WC2018 16
A great mind once said something along these lines: 'Everyone is intelligent in their own ways, but if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will spend it's life believing it is stupid' I thought it fit.
klorehore 24
time to learn how soccer works!
hickdog 6
the most popular sport in the world, supposedly. time to get with the program!
junkman6 22
How soccer works. Crybaby is on the ground for 5 minutes crying about a broken ankle while the rest of his team hounds the ref for a red card. On the replay crybaby isn't touched by anyone but the ref gives in and awards the red card and a penalty kick. As soon as the red card goes up crybaby stops crying and jumps off his stretcher to take the penalty kick. Soccer, you have been decoded.
Clioo_fml 17
48, said by someone who hasn't truly watched enough soccer, much less understands it.
junkman6 22
Actually I've watched a lot of soccer, to my great dismay, and I've come to the conclusion that girls highschool players are tougher than "pro" male players. Seriously, **** giving Oscars to actors give 'em to soccer "players." I will say the sport isn't bad to play, but watching pro soccer makes me hate the sport because of the amount of twattery.
LickitungJr 8
Well, I would rather fake being injured than getting 3 concussions in one season. And besides, only Hispanics really "flop"
junkman6 22
That's because you don't understand the pride of being a rugger. I'll take cauliflower ears, concussions, broken noses, and surgeries over "pretending" any day of the week.
Clioo_fml 17
Not all pro soccer players "dive" (faking a fall in hopes of getting a free kick/penalty shot) I'm not sure which teams you have been watching, but they can't have been the respectable ones. I agree, some soccer players will dive and make a big deal of it, but if they do, I simply don't watch their games and instead, watch the fair ones.
Opheliae 22
Probably easier than learning soccer with calculus terms...
iLike2Teabag 27
"With the break-away, he's taking the derivative of the angular momentum of his legs to find the velocity of the ball. He differentiates in time! He solves!"
alliewillie 22
Funny, but that's physics, not calculus =)
kinky44 28
It is funny because that is definately calc.
tomwantssnow 14
Actually, it's both! Calculus and physics often go hand-in-hand
Chumsword 8
Yeah, but if were truly soccer, the problem would've actu....SSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLVVVVED!!!
maxhhh 18
You really scored a goal with that teacher!!
Crofty92 17
boooo
minesbiggerr 25
Hooooo
fivetimeslonger 24
And you didn't with that comment.
lemurman108 24
Calculate the area under the curve of the ball that moves in a manner similar to the equation of y=2x+2 from 0 to 2.
Alhamdulilah 15
That is a linear line, not a curve.
lemurman108 24
Oh, I'm sorry, I meant to put 2x^2, not 2x+2
purebliss_fml 19
Ask him to teach the class again - normally. If he's not going to consider all his students then you should be in a different class and he can have a class full of meatheads.
perdix 31
On your test, just write, "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!" A+
Das_is_gud 11
Why would you write gool?
wellthen7154 12
I think it was supposed (or was it unintended?) to be were OP writes "GOOOOOO...OOOL" and then he gets an A+... Meaning he gets an added A, so "GOOOL" becomes "GOOOOAL" but I highly doubt it was intentional.
perdix 31
#44, in Spanish, it's "Gol." If you didn't catch the reference, you probably won't enjoy this as much as you could.
bighood24 17
if you listen to any soccer match, if a team scores the announcer screams goooooooooooooooool for about 5 minutes or until his lungs explode
olpally 33
Report that teacher to the principle. That's some major bull crap. You shouldn't have to suffer because other people can't pick up basic concepts of math as you can. FYL indeed.
Welshite 40
Principal* Also, I adored the lessons where my professors made the concepts they were teaching relevant to real-life situations. It's better than the idiotic hypothetical problems that would never ever happen.
glabberfasted 16
Calculus is not "basic math"
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
That begs the question even more of why "idiot meatheads" are even smart enough to do calculus