Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the supermarket when I saw a little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I went over to him and asked if his mom knew where he was. The boy turned around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML
Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML
Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML
Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML
Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML
Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML
Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML
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Top comments
dirty_hoes 0
being under 5 ft myself, this sorta things happens to me. it's worse for the little person than for you, get over yourself.
sillyfox 0
Idiot
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Comments (47)
dirty_hoes 0
being under 5 ft myself, this sorta things happens to me. it's worse for the little person than for you, get over yourself.
quiksta 0
i would say the term "little person" is just as, if not more offensive than "midget". The correct nomenclature is "dwarf" assholes.
egaonogenki 0
I'm 6'0", but knew a 14-year-old who was about 6'7" (or was it 6'5"?) I would take that as a compliment as I'd want to look younger. (But it's best if they say, "There's a high schooler in this bar!") On the other hand, if a bar bouncer starts not to check my ID, then that's a passive insult to how old I look.
haseenasays 0
#13 That is toooottally something i would have done if i WASNT drunk... and i would still do it if i even knew it was a little person ahhah
sillyfox 0
Idiot
RenoTheRhino 30
Dick.
Shownis182 0
Haha this is funny, the same thing happened to me in a bar, except for I was extra drunk and a little person like ran across the front of me and I went "AHHHHHH", I dont why , but I think its funny . haha .
fymother 13
"Someone get these motherfucking children out of this motherfucking bar!"
Dalarsco 0
I know a chick who is 4'10" and could totally kick you ass. She's a hockey player.
nazooer 11
RETARD
freber120 0
At least you were looking out for the "kid"... with a crappy turnout
girlnamedkris 0
Oh for the love of god! USING THE WORD 'PROCEEDED' DOES NOT MAKE YOU SOUND SMARTER OR MAKE THIS FUNNIER. Freaking everyone uses it in their FML's for some dumb reason, but what's worse is that it is used inappropriately. Learn English. It may have been funny once, but as with all things funny, it doesn't become more humorous with repetition. You're beating a dead horse here. Jesus.
Sushimomo 0
Isn't the defanition of proceeded to go from one thing to another? If so, it's right. The first event was going to the bar then they proceeded to get waisted. One event to the next.
stonessm 2
*Wasted* *definition* I find it truly humorous when people try to correct someone else's grammar and end up failing worse than the person they were correcting
psychocunt 20
The word proceeded was not in this FML at all.
RustySpoon 0
You. Are. An. Ass. Unless you apologized. Then you are just a dumbass.