Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, my grandma got piss drunk off two glasses of wine and kept telling me how I'm "so... ROUND!" FML
Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML
Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML
Today, at my maternal grandmother’s wake, I decided I deserved a piece of cake as it had been a hard day. I was serving myself a slice when my paternal grandma caught my eye from across the room, making a “fat face” at me. She called out, loudly, “You don’t need it Pudgy.” FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML
Today, I caught my mother-in-law filling my one-year-old's cup with Dr. Pepper. When I flipped out, she told me I was overreacting since "all her kids turned out fine." Save for my husband, all her kids are morbidly obese diabetics who’ve struggled with poor diets. She herself is almost 450 lbs. FML
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Top comments
sierraaaa 15
Sounds like my family reunions. Sometimes you just gotta "respect" your elders by biting your tongue. Although that was quite insensitive of her. I'm sorry OP that's not nice at all
Kateyez_26 13
Tell everyone to steer clear of grandma or you'll get saggy **** that look like plastic bags filled halfway with water lol
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Comments (106)
sierraaaa 15
Sounds like my family reunions. Sometimes you just gotta "respect" your elders by biting your tongue. Although that was quite insensitive of her. I'm sorry OP that's not nice at all
Kateyez_26 13
Just because shes old doesn't give her the right to act like that. Old or young, i think everybody should respect each other.
michelleJ11 25
Sadly #12, that's not how it works. It would make everything a lot easier if it worked that way.
ILoveMyArm 15
Am I the only one who doesn't actually have family reunions or get togethers? My family's policy is to avoid seeing each other unless it is required.
Welshite 40
#19: That's not always a good thing. I saw my family for the first time in twenty years a few years back. It was nice seeing them, but they were little more than strangers to me. Being with family is underrated nowadays.
TheCanucklehead 22
Reunions? Why are you re-uniting. There's probably a reason you haven't talked in the last bunch of years. Engagements? What are you? Engaged in warfare? Respect your elders? If you're in BC, Canada, you respect your Edlers just as much as yours elders.
SparklyCuntt 12
I'm guessing my fellow B.C resident, 45, had a little too much weed today. Cause that shit made no sense.
snugglesMcGee199 23
That's my policy too.....with everyone.
wallandpiece 16
Respect should be earned.
rememberkids 14
There's a reason I stopped smoking weed, 62
SS99_fml 20
Usually grandmas raise the roof at parties...Cancun '93...but in all seriousness, that sounds like a pain in the ass OP :/
aklm15 14
Gotta love Gramma!
ridemyrocket 9
get drunk and say shit about her?
PterodactylMan 23
But 4, That requires work
aklm15 14
No one likes my sarcasm? Ok. :(
aklm15 14
Well, I give up.
rich443 22
old people strike again
renaee 13
They should stay away from her instead. Might catch Diarrhea of the mouth.
ambitiousnygrl 17
Or stupidity
iAlissa 34
Words just flow out of gran like Tourette's and vomit. There's no stopping that.
bostongirl77 5
Sometimes family hurts you the most. FYL
tranced_ 45
ohh your words of wisdom..
Kateyez_26 13
Tell everyone to steer clear of grandma or you'll get saggy **** that look like plastic bags filled halfway with water lol
TheJordanBryant 11
Hahahaha that sounds hot
Narutosuns2fan 12
No it ******* doesn't.
darkangel21492 10
obviously 61 is being sarcastic here...
kianaaa32 17
One would hope so...
TheJordanBryant 11
Thank you #70. If some people didn't have something stuck up their ass they could see that. It's like people are afraid to actually speak their minds on here.
fmfrigginl 7
Aw OP, I'm so sorry relatives can be harsh and I agree with #4
michelleJ11 25
Nothing wrong with family insults ;) but that does suck OP, it always sucks how you can't say anything to elders. Just don't take it to heart :)
Kateyez_26 13
So you're implying that it's ok what the grandma did because she's old? Maybe OP is self conscious about her weight (or not) either way, not cool
teechur 15
Nothing wrong with family insults? What an ignorant thing to say. I work with women on weight loss and almost ALL of them have had painful relationships with family who didn't love them enough to bring up their self esteem, not tear it down. I've been there too. I do not believe in just letting a relative berate me, and I don't care HOW old he or she is. Unless there is mental illness or dementia, I will stand up for myself or anyone else who is the receiver of the barbs. Sweetie (OP) you are worth so much more inside and out than that ignorant grandmother of yours. You can respect her, but that doesn't mean you have to listen to her hurtful words. Personally, I keep myself as far away from the ones who hurt me as I can and when I visit, I control the visit. I go to MY vacation destination, stay in a hotel, and invite them for a day or two. I refuse to put myself in the path of their ammunition.
michelleJ11 25
I thought the winky face would show that I was being sarcastic. I do find it very wrong what her grandmother has said about her, maybe I should've been a bit more clear of that. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.
superman3212 8
agree. nothing wrong with insults. as long as you can take a hit.
hannahneedles 11
Preach it!