Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Bitches, amirite?
Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML
Sorry seems to be the harshest word
Today, my girlfriend has yelled at me multiple times for saying sorry too much. It's involuntary, due to me constantly being told I never do anything right growing up by my parents. She knows this, and is even then one who helped me realize this, and still yells at me for it. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Fresh mints
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Top comments
imaginaryvoice 18
"I'm so sick of you breathing all the time!! Just stop, that's all I ask! Just do this one thing for me and stop breathing!"
Epsilonyx 15
Next time you're in public, stop breathing and cause a scene. When she tells you to stop, sob uncontrollably and scream "ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU WANTED YOU FAT BITCH", then lay in the fetal position and urinate everywhere.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (184)
chels1994 11
yell at her for bitching too much
dmentax 4
GET RID OF THE BITCH!!!
saturnfive 5
Is she hot? If she is very good looking then certain psychotic things like this are justified. Hell, I wouldn't mind getting yelled at for breathing too much... provided my girlfriend looked like a GQ model.
tj4234 36
well stop breathing then...
kainpwnsu 19
Sounds like someone's "aunt" is visiting.
SLC_grumpypants 5
Time to break it off. If she's like that now imagine how she will be later.
pradagirl123 0
She's clearly done with you if she's yelling at you for little things
OfficeNinja 5
I know why. But I can't tell you. What I cam tell you is that I sell life insurance......
taydubs21 0
That reminds me of that part in Death Becomes Her.., " could you just..not breathe?"
ea247 20
Yeah because god forbids you living