cj123
United States
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
TwiceDaily,Kids
United States
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML
migsman
United States
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Sergeant Bri
Norwood, United States
Bitches, amirite?
Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML
Anonymous
Boone, United States
Sorry seems to be the harshest word
Today, my girlfriend has yelled at me multiple times for saying sorry too much. It's involuntary, due to me constantly being told I never do anything right growing up by my parents. She knows this, and is even then one who helped me realize this, and still yells at me for it. FML
kj1
Draper, United States
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
hopeless
Halifax, Canada
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Julian
France
Fresh mints
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Anonymous
Atlanta, United States
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Anonymous
Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Top comments
imaginaryvoice 18
"I'm so sick of you breathing all the time!! Just stop, that's all I ask! Just do this one thing for me and stop breathing!"
Epsilonyx 15
Next time you're in public, stop breathing and cause a scene. When she tells you to stop, sob uncontrollably and scream "ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU WANTED YOU FAT BITCH", then lay in the fetal position and urinate everywhere.
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Comments (184)
Epsilonyx 15
Next time you're in public, stop breathing and cause a scene. When she tells you to stop, sob uncontrollably and scream "ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU WANTED YOU FAT BITCH", then lay in the fetal position and urinate everywhere.
ewputthataway 0
I think you got a little to in to that o-o
The_Weirdo 10
Why do you say that 41? Sounds like an average Sunday morning at my house.
cmoore366 0
That's by far the best idea I've seen on here
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
I couldn't help but laugh xD sorry. It's cruel, I know. But that would be interesting to see
omgthatsosuppera 4
:') that was beautiful! I'm now taking a moment of silence to appreciate people like you for making the world more interesting
someone_cool 6
Dafuq did I just read?
Sinamoi 18
Darth Vader impersonations?
blondebrunette11 4
No, maybe OP is DartgVader
Llamacod 11
C'mon, even dartgvader may be able to pull off a decent darth vader impersonation
THE_A_TEEN 28
Isn't it obvious? Op is dartgvader (Vaders cousin from tatooine), the idiot who put the exhaust port on the Death Star at the end of a long trench.
blondebrunette11 4
Guys.... I meant DarthVader. Smh.
rarrar321 3
So I'm confused....are you blonde? Or are you brunette?....or are you 11?
ImmenseCabbage 0
I hope you've learned your lesson. You should know better than that.
llouise_fml 2
had to make an account just so I could fav this hahahah
YakuzaxGeneralz 9
I would clap for you… but I have no hands.
DynamicDave 11
I would love to hear that story in person, but I have no ears.
MontesC 0
I would like to tell that story to someone, but i have no mouth.
stephanieeDawnx 0
I'd like to see this story.. Oh, wait, no I wouldn't. This story sucks. :D
flockz 20
suffocate her.... with love.
kkillaj 5
I was thinking more like suffocate her with his dick
perdix 31
I know these clingy girls might want to suffocate you, but I didn't think they meant it literally. If your girlfriend seems to be hoarding dry-cleaning plastic, RUN!!!
evilplatypus 39
Are you a mouth breather? I can see how that would get annoying.
ThatGuyRory 9
Yeah, because we all get pissed people who breath through their mouth...
cmars3 7
66- it is possible to breathe through your nose. When people breathe through their mouths it's loud and annoying, and unless you have a stuffed up nose or you're 4 years old you shouldn't know better
Dcm210 19
Play Dead
hateevryone 15
unless you have asthma, she need to shut up.
The_Weirdo 10
So you are saying people with Asthma shouldn't breath? That's pretty cold.
aFreedom127 9
Was your mouth buried between her thighs at the time?
ikickgingers 15
You make me seem normal..,