cj123
United States
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
TwiceDaily,Kids
United States
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML
migsman
United States
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Sergeant Bri
Norwood, United States
Bitches, amirite?
Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML
Anonymous
Boone, United States
Sorry seems to be the harshest word
Today, my girlfriend has yelled at me multiple times for saying sorry too much. It's involuntary, due to me constantly being told I never do anything right growing up by my parents. She knows this, and is even then one who helped me realize this, and still yells at me for it. FML
kj1
Draper, United States
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
hopeless
Halifax, Canada
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Julian
France
Fresh mints
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Anonymous
Atlanta, United States
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Anonymous
Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Top comments
imaginaryvoice 18
"I'm so sick of you breathing all the time!! Just stop, that's all I ask! Just do this one thing for me and stop breathing!"
Epsilonyx 15
Next time you're in public, stop breathing and cause a scene. When she tells you to stop, sob uncontrollably and scream "ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU WANTED YOU FAT BITCH", then lay in the fetal position and urinate everywhere.
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Comments (184)
yummylicious 5
Yell at her for her heart beating too much. She must be stupid if she doesn't understand that you need to breathe to live.
Right_Click 12
It really only is 2 options..
ShyAnn29 15
If you breathing too much bothers her, I wonder what she says during sex.
princessmollysue 9
Okay .......
j_ortiz27 7
Fat slob. Quit being a mouth breather.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Because every "fat slob" is a mouth breather, right?? (buzzer) Wrong. Get out, you lost the game.
perdix 31
She means breathing too loudly. Why would she care exactly how much oxygen you are consuming? Your body adjusts that automatically. You don't have to say "Aaaaaahhhh" every time you exhale, that's only in yoga and Lamaze class. Otherwise, it's ******* annoying.
caseDL6 12
its funny cuz Kate gosselin said something like that to Jon once
22jrdn55 15
Stop taking all the oxygen, you selfish bastard!!! God man, you're waste of oxygen.
kaykay20 0
Were you both in the car? To much breathing can cause fogged up windows so understandable to be asked not to breath so much but they usually aren't completely serious (obviously cause a person needs to breath to live). Constant loud breathing can be annoying when a persons already irritable and annoyed about something. Either way she shouldn't be mean to you in anyway cause of it.
onorexveritas 24
dump her ass and tell her she smells too much