Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

cj123 23 December 2011, 08:43 United States

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

184 comments

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

TwiceDaily,Kids 6 April 2012, 00:41 United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

65 comments

Anonymous 31 March 2011, 21:53 United States

Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML

231 comments

migsman 15 September 2010, 02:43 United States

Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML

262 comments

Sergeant Bri 16 July 2023, 15:00 Norwood, United States

Bitches, amirite?

Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML

2 comments

Anonymous 23 October 2021, 17:00 Boone, United States

Sorry seems to be the harshest word

Today, my girlfriend has yelled at me multiple times for saying sorry too much. It's involuntary, due to me constantly being told I never do anything right growing up by my parents. She knows this, and is even then one who helped me realize this, and still yells at me for it. FML

4 comments

kj1 17 February 2014, 18:28 Draper, United States

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

103 comments

hopeless 14 February 2015, 20:04 Halifax, Canada

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

30 comments

Julian 22 December 2008, 07:45 France

Fresh mints

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML

86 comments

Anonymous 20 October 2015, 09:44 Atlanta, United States

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

58 comments

Anonymous 6 September 2019, 20:03

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

3 comments

imaginaryvoice 18

23 December 2011, 16:09

"I'm so sick of you breathing all the time!! Just stop, that's all I ask! Just do this one thing for me and stop breathing!"

Epsilonyx 15

23 December 2011, 16:15

Next time you're in public, stop breathing and cause a scene. When she tells you to stop, sob uncontrollably and scream "ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU WANTED YOU FAT BITCH", then lay in the fetal position and urinate everywhere.