Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hghrider123456 9
That's when you say "yes, it has a boo-boo, will you kiss and make it better?"
misspulkadot24 17
Which cheek?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (118)
norwegianboip 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Man up , its normal. Dont be shy around your gf.
CockAsian 14
Yea but I'd rather not shit in front of my girlfriend either. That's if I had one.
JennaNGood 21
Every relationship should keep some aspect of mystery around it... Just because you're having sex does NOT mean you have to talk about poo together.
martin8337 36
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah, #16, it kinda does.
sicksadworld1317 30
Nope, 29- only if it's butt sex.
Caitie_kid 8
She should respect him if he's uncomfortable with it, but overall I don't find this weird. People fart, poop, and pee. It's reality and most people in strong long term relationships aren't embarrassed about that.
martin8337 36
#34 Giggity.
jw90 18
There's just some things you don't share with them.
missd420 16
I'm married and I'm still not totally comfortable with pooping in front of my husband. It varies from person to person.
atrandom 11
I poop in front if my husband, as he does in front of me. Actually it's the perfect time to attack with shaving cream or a bucket if water. The other person is stuck on the toilet.
karCSJ 9
dafuq!?!....
applebramble 22
Is there only one mirror in their place? Seriously... I wouldn't have even been able to tolerate the smell . Grody
ChevyRedneck85 13
You sir have found a keeper
hghrider123456 9
That's when you say "yes, it has a boo-boo, will you kiss and make it better?"
princessbits 17
I don't think it's particularly romantic to kiss someone while they're taking a dump. Edit; Nevermind, I misread the FML.
asnakelovinbabe 16
I lol'ed at how hard you misread this FML in order to take THAT from it.... It's so far from what it actually said... Haha
Parkour_rocks 20
That's nasty (Cleveland voice)
baconsdelight701 17
Aww you can do it. Good boy. ;)
Lasagnaa 24
Why not lock the door?
GamerG0DDESS 29
Not all homes have locks on every door
grafeety 9
Who doesn't have a lock on their bathroom door though??
WCARlover 35
At least it wasn't like your grandma or something. If you're going to get serious with her you should learn to get comfortable around her
WellThatSucked89 13
I'm sorry but I disagree. My husband and I have been married for almost three years and we still don't "read a magazine" with the door open. There are still some things that are sacred, and poo time is one. Boundaries...
Caitie_kid 8
That's the great thing about people, everyone is different. I've been married for just over 3 years and my husband and I have not had a problem with seeing each other in the bathroom even when we were just dating. Some people don't find pooping "sacred". To each their own.
monnanon 14
i dont mind about my husband being in the bathroom if im using it but hes a bit funny about coming in even if im in the shower. he will if he needs to but it doesnt happen a lot
Kiki242 19
Well is it?
lanco_fml 10
lol..man up
BeepBeepSwerve 9
this "man up" crap is very annoying
extrasnipes 22
thats a shity situation
misspulkadot24 17
Did you just go there? You just went there didn't you. Oh damn. You're brave. Stupid. But brave. I hope you know how to swim, because you'll be drowning in the ocean of down vote. Ok. I think you get my point.
extrasnipes 22
no please be more clear.
DrownedMyFish 18
Every god damn time there is a shit related FML, we get this comment. Have you not noticed that everybody that uses this comment gets down voted to hell? What makes you think you would have been any different?
MidnaLink 35
misspulkadot you ROCK!
bethluvsyou 15
Well I thought it was funny...
asnakelovinbabe 16
To add to what 30 said... Now that I think about it.... There are a LOT of shit-related FML's! A scary large proportion of them! I always tap on them to read comments so I can spot the person that made this exact comment and it never, ever fails! Someone ALWAYS says this and ALWAYS gets buried. FML should consider making this a badge: You commented "that's a shitty situation" and didn't get buried!"
mFUNdo21 17
that would be an unobtainable badge. you'd always get buried
misspulkadot24 17
Which cheek?
kamikrazy 6
The left one.
jerryj 27
The left buttcheek*
Ari1337 15
"I hope you mean the cheeks on your face!"
ViviMage 40
Lock the bathroom door!!
ksks1234 33
Maybe there is not a lock on the door. Mine doesn't have one.
CockAsian 14
I'm curious to know which cheek she pinched.