Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML
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Top comments
hghrider123456 9
That's when you say "yes, it has a boo-boo, will you kiss and make it better?"
misspulkadot24 17
Which cheek?
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Comments (118)
rakooligan 11
Seriously, I don't understand why some couples feel it's okay to defecate in front of one another.
nishantvas 13
next time... LOCK the door mate
JFunk4Real 12
Lock the door next time....that is all.
Averagegamer 1
id make her uncomfortable by ******** so loud the mexican people could hear it
Slavgaard 16
To keep her from doing it again you should have stood up and said 'Look in there...is that normal?'
gc327072 31
He did. It's called Poo-ma Key.
Nicostream 16
Lol, that's one epic girlfriend. Definitely a keeper. Haha I would have laughed if I were you, OP.
Inked0803 12
You've reached the point of no return in your relationship
NocturnalCro 14
Best. User. Name. Ever.
missmonkie 16
my boyfriend farts, ***** and burps in front of me. dude be a man. you have a keeper if she has no problem coming in the bathroom while you're doing that.
MidnightMusic53 37
Some people like their privacy while taking a dump. He doesn't need to "be a man," she needs to respect his personal space, considering he expressed his discomfort. I know I couldn't go to the bathroom if my boyfriend was in there with me, and neither could he. She's not a keeper if she's not going to be respectful of her boyfriend's personal space. I'm sick of seeing these comments. Nobody should be told to "man up" just because they want to poo in peace. Keep in mind that if every single person was the same, the world would be a dull place. I personally could never understand why the hell anyone would want to be in the bathroom while someone is taking a dump, even with bathroom spray.