Today, I was caught on a hot mic during a work department meeting complaining about someone using a leaf blower, F-bombs and all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML
Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML
Today, at work, whilst on hold with an important client, I said to my co-workers, "Fucking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite." I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML
Today, someone I work with embarrassed me in front of everyone in my job; because I wasn’t doing something the way she liked during our meeting this morning. I ended up crying in front of my boss. FML
Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML
Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML
Today, I joined a video meeting 5 minutes early and spent the time quietly complaining about one of my coworkers to my friend. When the meeting started, I realized my microphone had been on the entire time. Said coworker was the first person to say hello. FML
Today, I farted during a Zoom call in front of our client. I thought mic was muted. My Team Lead had lot of things to say to me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
**** leaf blowers and the ******* ******* that use them! They don't pick up leaves -- they just move them around and pollute the air with dried dogshit. **** 'em!
BurnInDemonFire 39
******* hell, Pencil! Watch what you ******* say! There could be kids reading this ******* stuff, and all they'll ******* see is your ******* comment full of "**** this, **** that, **** you", and they'll ******* repeat to their parents who will get really ******* angry about some guy who went on a ******* rant about a ******* leaf blower!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (1)
RichardPencil 32
**** leaf blowers and the ******* ******* that use them! They don't pick up leaves -- they just move them around and pollute the air with dried dogshit. **** 'em!
BurnInDemonFire 39
******* hell, Pencil! Watch what you ******* say! There could be kids reading this ******* stuff, and all they'll ******* see is your ******* comment full of "**** this, **** that, **** you", and they'll ******* repeat to their parents who will get really ******* angry about some guy who went on a ******* rant about a ******* leaf blower!