Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML
Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML
Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds "lol" to everything, which turns me off. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
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Top comments
kut17 11
Have exercise sex with her sister.
rein 8
What a bitch! Dump her sorry ass.
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Comments (104)
LaBooskie 1
That FML should of started with my Ex-Girlfriend. Dump that shady bitch.
jaytee1994 9
Dude you need to dump her ass like NOW!!!!! She's not faithful to you. And you don't need to be cheated on. Leave her on the street corner like she's trying to be right now
miggie_bp 0
Get an STD and pass it to her. Then she will pass it to him. Everyone's happy. Except you, your gf is still a bitch, and your single now. Plus you suck at sex apparently. FYL
Inciter 33
I hope you dumped her cheating ass.
karen1991 15
Oh shit lol
SkyyEatsAirplane 11
Who does that? That's not normal behavior.. She definitely isn't worth keeping
iamhe 8
Santa Santa hoe hoe hoe
Dustin642 1
Dude... That story made me mad! Lol sorry bro
Gene06 3
Dump her ass an screw her sister or best friend
Blue329 15
Your girlfriend which should now be your ex-girlfriend , should go die in a hole!