Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML
Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML
Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds "lol" to everything, which turns me off. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
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Top comments
kut17 11
Have exercise sex with her sister.
rein 8
What a bitch! Dump her sorry ass.
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Comments (104)
LuckyLynx7732 5
While your at work, she's with some dude trying to get off? F*ck slitting her throat, cut that bitch's head off! Thank you Slim Shady.
B3Y0ND 3
C'mon, 50, if you are actually what you say your age is, you should act it.
Jem777 6
All of my rage.
CuriousAlien 7
Well that was a creative way to try and get someone into bed.......
doctorhook86 25
52: Gotta say, of all the female friends I've got, none of them have ever texted me offering exercise sex. Maybe I'm texting wrong?
rslater 1
Dump her then move on, show her you aren't going to be walked all over!
WrongRomance 11
Aw, sorry OP. We can't always date nice people.
doumtabarnack 12
I do believe she now fits the "*****" category.
mykelinva 4
OP, Every woman in my life has helped create the person I am. I learned that the toxic ones have no place in my life and need to be let go. The road, even though painful at times, eventually leads to the love of your life. Let her go to make room...
eman1972 4
Wow, what a dumb ass. Get those text's straight before sending them out. If u make it to Memphis, Tn. I'll help u out!!!
Twisted_Angel 17
I think you need to get rid of her. however talking to her isn't going to work, so I agree with a previous poster, tell her the thought of sex with her turns you of, and you're going to go have sex with one of your friends. I'm pretty sure she's cheated before, otherwise she wouldn't have the balls to send a text like that. time to ditch the bitch.
robertwilson19 1
Yea that sucks, but at least you know the truth now