Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I woke up in the hospital with a mild concussion, a sprained neck, and a broken shoulder. How did this happen? Earlier, I ran into the guy I used to bully all throughout school. Once his wife realized who I was, she piledrived me. FML
Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of a sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML
Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML
Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML
Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
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Top comments
vipirius 18
People blaming their actions on being drunk and refusing to take responsibility pisses me off so much. I hope you didn't just let it go OP.
Arjunt 5
Sorry OP :(. Hope you feel better
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Comments (101)
Arjunt 5
Sorry OP :(. Hope you feel better
Demig0d6 14
Hope op had a nice walk on the street I guess...
CharismaGeek 19
No he didn't! He got hit in the head with a baseball bat!
nattlecakes 19
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol! Anybody? No? Okay...
incoherentrmblr 22
I guess you were Peanut Butter & Jelly to him...
clemsi 20
looks like you get to start lol
cypherwars 15
So sad OP Get well soon!
vipirius 18
People blaming their actions on being drunk and refusing to take responsibility pisses me off so much. I hope you didn't just let it go OP.
PIGaming 21
in Australia, self-induced intoxication is not a defence an OP's attacker would be charged with 'assault with the intention of causing serious injury'
King_Nero 15
Assuming they're American then they should have been charged with assault and public intoxication. But I'm sure most countries are that way.
PIGaming 21
You should be held completely liable for your actions if you are self-induced intoxicated anywhere in the world. OP's attacker deserves everything they get.
Driv3r001 8
I see future charges being pressed.
thunderfucked 23
Wouldn't it be assault with a deadly weapon?
clemsi 20
The knockout game: drunk edition.... got to love assholes that go for an attack of opportunity.
Gittoh 21
you mean psychopats.
badluckalex 23
psychopaths* ;)
doctorhook86 25
#15: *psychobats. ...You know, because of the baseball bat.
martin8337 36
Darn auto correct.
Metagame 12
Yeah, because your phone will definitely think you mean "psychopats."
Pixiecrack 11
Be careful when walking through cities, always be aware of your surroundings, there are some idiots out there doing this moronic thing called "wilding"...even if u r in ur car be aware, if a group of people start to form, just get the hell out there quick
shelbelz 4
whats "wilding"?
toaster123 11
it sounds like a moronic thing...
Fuaaad1994 31
I read that as wildling
EdenCrystal 21
35, 38: an outrageous rampage usually involving sexual attacks by men on women.
skyeyez9 25
Sounds like when a group of feral dipshits get together and surround an individual (usually a female, or the elderly) like a mob and beat them unconscious "for fun." I would love for them to surround the wrong person and get shot.
Danne696 14
Like the group that harrassed and then attacked two transvestites. The transvestites, however, turned out to be professional MMA fighters on their way to a themed party :) One hell of a good video.
daisylokes 16
why all the dislikes on #5..... shes just giving advise. Haters
Mynamewontfi 40
It sickens me that some people don't take responsibility for their actions, especially when hurting someone while being drunk. Hope you get well soon.
mannatee 19
It's bullshit that anyone thinks they don't have to take responsibility for their actions, I don't give a shit if you have a mental disability, you still have to take responsibility
laden_swallow09 35
I'm favoriting this FML solely for your comment. Thank you.
MidnaLink 35
Alan, Sirin, do not delete this FML. Keep it up so that people can see this comment.
shudson186 17
Amen!
Fuaaad1994 31
Well obviously if he was drunk then that makes it okay. Idiot.
ohSNAPyall 27
Obviously. Unless he used an aluminum bat.
91hayek 31
This is ******* sick. If this is from the Knockout Game, there needs to be a revision of the laws that penalise dumb fuckwits who latch onto crazes from the internet. If you were inspired by the internet and it is an actual craze; and you did it to get notoriety on the web, you do serious time in buttrape prison. No two ways about it. **** that guy. Hope you get better OP.
Brandi_Faith 34
This needs a follow up because I want to know if that guy got charged! If he got away than hopefully the witness can give a good sketch to the police. This shouldn't go unpunished as it will most likely happen again to someone else and this time the guy may cause serious brain damage or kill someone.
Gittoh 21
damn. Hitting strangers, even hitting hard enough to do that and still wont take responsibility? That is a psychopat right there, do him a favor and turn him in before he kills someone. (maybe he will learn a thing or two. maybe.)