Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML
Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
Today, we had a great night out with my girlfriend and even won a costume contest together. I guess I wasn't the only one who had a great night, because when I got home I found that someone had robbed my apartment. FML
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Top comments
gear4 29
They're there, princess: >
gjikvtj 18
Go work on some cars and drink beer and do some sports stuff, regain some manliness Then buy the nicest pink dress at Dress Barn
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Comments (71)
melaena 12
You know what OP? Just go with it. Be the most stylish man out there. Work it!:p
ALN212111 7
My mum has a video recording from when I was young of me flailing and crying around like a ghoul is eating me and when we wakes me up to ask what's wrong, I soulfully whisper; "I ran out of icecream" and passed back out again. Played on my 13th, 16th, 18th AND 21st birthdays .....
wondercat40 28
I know if I sleep talked in my dreams my family would think of me a whole lot different. My friends continuously die in my dreams :/ I'm sorry, OP!
King_paradox 22
That moment I read it as "I shot up in bed" Then I assumed as he was on cloud nine he whimpered that fml.
olpally 33
******* hilarious! Lol. Worse things in bed could've been said, this is just funny! :D
Awesomekc 5
Ouch, sorry OP
AlexRen 21
Then you had the staff at a restaurant song happy birthday and your gf had a severe anxiety attack?
sunshineb81 16
#33 Wrong FML friend...
glabberfasted 16
35 - It was a poor attempt at a reference to another FML. It doesn't really make sense or apply here, though.
10showgirl 16
Tell them she's lying lol
billito209 8
Joe Rogan is awesome! **** you and your stupid username
sweetest_jenn 18
Put a bow tie around your neck when you go to bed. The next time that happens, you can wake up, say "wait, yes I do" and then go right back to sleep! Nothing's fancier than a bow tie, my friend!