Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML
Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
Today, we had a great night out with my girlfriend and even won a costume contest together. I guess I wasn't the only one who had a great night, because when I got home I found that someone had robbed my apartment. FML
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Top comments
gear4 29
They're there, princess: >
gjikvtj 18
Go work on some cars and drink beer and do some sports stuff, regain some manliness Then buy the nicest pink dress at Dress Barn
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Comments (71)
MLardinos 14
My husband talks in his sleep too. This FML reminds me of the time he sat up in bed and with the most serious face he told me "I asked if they wanted to play but pooh and tigger were to busy". I laughed so hard I almost fell out of bed.
Saikon1357 25
So I guess I'm the only one (besides OP of course) bothered by how insensitive a thing that is for the gf to do? Not cool.
blondeambition1 4
Once, while playing Mario party, my friend fell asleep. When it was his turn we'd call his name and he'd randomly push buttons. Sad to say he kicked our assess.
maylie25 18
Lol way too funny
worldclassrager 41
You better hope something comes up soon that is the talk of the town per se but for the time being you are the entertainment for a bit
ChelzTheWolfGirl 29
Somebody sure has their panties in a twist over this.
pink_lightning 16
I think Ron Wesley sat up in bed and said something similar. This fml is definitely familiar!
Stephy94 9
"The spiders! They want me to tap-dance! I don't wanna tap dance!" "You tell those spiders, Ron." "Okay."
eLCeenor 7
Well, at least she didn't share it with an entire website.
mybubbles2000 13
I would have loved to see that dream for myself just to know what you were whimpering about.
John_in_Oz 12
Tell them "I was dreaming I was about to shag a supermodel, and announced 'I'm down for anything to f**** you senseless.'" And conclude "Thank god she heard it as 'I don't have anything for the fancy-dress.' I dodged a bullet there."