Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML
Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
Today, we had a great night out with my girlfriend and even won a costume contest together. I guess I wasn't the only one who had a great night, because when I got home I found that someone had robbed my apartment. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
gear4 29
They're there, princess: >
gjikvtj 18
Go work on some cars and drink beer and do some sports stuff, regain some manliness Then buy the nicest pink dress at Dress Barn
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (71)
tranced_ 45
oh the truth had to come out one way or the other..
RomanCatMama 16
Whats the big deal? Its funny, get over it. These things work best when you own it
stfudonnie 10
repressed memories! FYI Joe Rogan is the man.
sushies1 10
Joe Rogaine sucks
Kobe1Kenobi 3
But i love Joe Rogan...
JMichael 26
Hello Josephine
sanecatlady 13
The reason it's not okay for a guy to wear a dress but it is okay for women to wear pants is sadly because society still thinks things made for women are inferior to things made for men. But then again I find most clothes made especially for my gender unbearable to wear and shopping for clothes and shoes in general is torture.
lexiale 10
Play it off and say the dress was for her and you were panicking to get it to her
cheshireau 26
I'm a sleep talker too. I also do things in my sleep that imitate my dreams like using the phone or pouring stuff into the sink. You'll eventually look back and laugh at it. You need to laugh at yourself from time to time.
KamenRiderClive 9
Right, I'm assuming that in Australia "fancy-dress" means the same thing it seems to mean in the UK and therefore he's talking about a costume, as in what one might wear on Halloween of the like. Not a dress, like the item of clothing. So it's not funny for the reason you think it's funny.
sunshineb81 16
"Fancy dress" = costume in the UK? You're right, I had no idea that was the case. Either way it is an innocent and funny FML but I really appreciate someone explaining that.
mikbrooke 25
#21 - being in australia, most people i've met who have talked about a costume party refer to it as a dress up party, or 'whatever their theme is' themed party. and fancy dress generally means something fancy. guess it all just depends on the person.
DrippingSarcasm 20
I smiled. Don't worry OP, everyone does embarrassing things. They'll forget about it. :)