Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex-wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML
Today, at my anniversary party, and in front of all our friends, I accidentally called my husband-to-be by my ex-boyfriend's name. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, after convincing my now ex-girlfriend that I wasn’t cheating on her with a girl from work the other day, I accidentally called her by her name. They both start with “M”. Hello, single life. FML
Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her by another girl's name. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
Today, while intoxicated, I accidentally called my girlfriend by female roommate's name. Panicked, I tried to correct myself and said my female best friend's name. My relationship with both is 100% platonic, but as a last ditch effort, completely frazzled, I said my cat's name. Now she won't stop calling me by her ex's name. FML
Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML
Today, I went out with my friend and her boyfriend. Not knowing him very well, I accidentally called him by her ex’s name. He took that as a sign she was still seeing the ex and dumped her on the spot. She’s now not speaking to me for ruining her life. I’m just bad with names. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CheekyRaccoon 27
Your parents never told you this, you can predict the future. It's not like a fortune teller that looks in to a crystal ball, but more like what you say has a 99.91% chance of happening. Please use your new found powers wisely.
worldclassrager 41
She didn't ask for an explanation? Needless to say a slip of the tongue didn't help...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (35)
worldclassrager 41
She didn't ask for an explanation? Needless to say a slip of the tongue didn't help...
Seabass_Chan 33
I'm guessing she DID, but OP just couldn't come up with a satisfactory answer beyond "Um, I... Uh..."
SillyGiraffe 17
One of the unluckiest Freudian slips I've ever heard. FYL OP.
cutiepie292929 18
A Freudian slip is something ur thinking subconsciously. So then he must have wanted her to be his ex...therefore not a Freudian slip since it looks like he wanted to be with her
CheekyRaccoon 27
Your parents never told you this, you can predict the future. It's not like a fortune teller that looks in to a crystal ball, but more like what you say has a 99.91% chance of happening. Please use your new found powers wisely.
kenyrabit 25
Are you predicting OR projecting? :]
CheekyRaccoon 27
Both.
joshmchenry23 8
I'm getting laid tonight
WD_Stevens 22
How's that .09% chance working out for you, 15?
hmicu 8
Thaaaat's So Raven in reverse
JosephKorso 15
How do you **** up THAT badly?
RabbitOfAurora 28
That's one hell of a Freudian slip OP!
Hamden824 23
You should've thought about what you were going to say before you said it. But at least try to give her an explanation. Sorry OP!
darshini_ii 24
It sounds like she wanted to do it in the first place. An opportunist I must say.
InfiniteSunshine 32
That's awful, but in a way maybe it was a good thing because I think that was a pretty big overreaction on her part. If you tried to explain and apologize and she didn't listen, that's a problem with her. Sometimes words get mixed up and you accidentally slip up. If my boyfriend did that to me, I'd be taken aback, but I wouldn't break up with him, I'd just ask for an explanation.
RebeccaRFT 18
She probably thought he was breaking up with her in a douchey way
Subcontinent 14
No kidding words sometimes get mixed up - I'm so used to talking about my boyfriend when referring to him that when talking about myself I accidentally called myself his boyfriend too! but he didn't dump me nor force me to go through a sex change so...
bearkoda 11
my boyfriend has done that a few times. I always respond with "did you forget to break up with me" with a raised eyebrow. Always laugh it off, your ex is weird
jeepster67 2
Self-fulfilling prophecy.