Today, while we were making love, he farted, then blamed it on his dog, who wasn't even in the room. The smell alone could have killed me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate with for the first time in a while, as I haven't been home, when the foul stench of our dog's fart made us gag. Mood ruined. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, I was desperate for a fart but tried to hold it in so we weren't forced to stop halfway. Unfortunately, I accidentally let the fart escape, along with runny diarrhea, all over my husband's legs and groin. The smell caused him to vomit all over me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, during an argument that he couldn't win, my boyfriend farted in a glass, covered it with his hand, ran to me, and let it go it right in front of my nose. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
At least he didn't shit on the sheets.
loveexgirl 15
27 ... wtf?
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Comments (200)
marinus_fml 20
At least he didn't shit on the sheets.
loveexgirl 15
I have to agree on this.
IceeCreamm 7
You could have also got a pink eye, maybe?
Pokeemon 3
pink eyes are sexy
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
In some cultures farting is like foreplay, the female dances around the male fornicating. once both the male and female are covered in each others excrement than copulation can begin.
loveexgirl 15
27 ... wtf?
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
#4, a lot of comments now a days are like this one; starting off with: "At least he/she didn't...". So I am sorry but I do not find this comment very good.
WhiteBoyThatCan 0
1 I think that was the lamest comment I've ever seen on fml..
toastyjustice 5
sometimes you just can't control it
cptmorgan6 8
At least you weren't licking his nuts and he shat on your chin.
Enslaved 38
34, stop sniffing glue and think why pend wrote what he did. To OP, Hey, You're crazy bitch But you **** so good, I'm on top of it When I dream, I'm doing you all night Scratches all down my back to keep me right on. And, at least you have some one to "make love" with. I have to resort to reading erotica and play with myself. But I can however breathe fine.
yummycupkake 0
you were so amazed that he just blew you away
RyanMacVey 17
im with #54 ... that would have been a much more amusing fml :L
rawrlily 0
18- Yep, a crusty, pus-filled eye is TOTALLY HAWT.
Alex94xela 0
not as amusing as gayboii giving a pen a ********, that was priceless.
ILOLatmockdaweek 0
94- not as amusing as you, who makes up lies about people he doesn't know just for a laugh...
MissBunnyWillEat 11
idiot^
Mindtrap 0
the smell alone? what else was there?
scrapmetal58 9
Who is "he", OP? It's rare that the OP wouldn't indicate to whom he/she is referring.
straw7bery 0
u look like Ke$ha ;D
straw7bery 0
112- I mean you do
Shadow4i5 3
y wuld u make ur username gayboii when ur not gay....... that's jus weird
taytaysssxy 0
lmfao yeah what else was there??
humzizzl3 0
what a bunch of creepers, 27 you are the dumbest/nastiest creature
isac1234 0
you look like a hoe (:
JesusFishTaco 5
174- I despise Shane Dawson.
BShady96 0
at least he didnt dutch oven
icecreammintz 0
this is what sarah palin fans like
Allie1324 0
Or on her?
rbubbles 20
it was probably an accident so don't make things more awkward for the both of you
XxHunterHavocxX 0
Yeah, seriously, you're getting laid so just ignore the f*cking fart.
RedPillSucks 33
Farting in this situation, especially the malodorous sort, is a serious mood killer. Especially when the offender tries to blame someone/thing else. Once you grow out of puberty, you'll understand this.
rbubbles 20
91. thanks ********. I was unaware I'm still going through puberty at the age of 22.
DocBastard 40
Bubbles, get your knickers out of a twist and realise that RPS was talking to XxHunterHavocxX, aka the *13 year old girl* in the comment above him.
rbubbles 20
then next time he should state so.
juicedboi 7
Never have a threesome with two men, cause all you have done is double the chance of somebody farting.
WiteBoyThatCan 0
62 want to have sex?
murlocholmes 5
the street name for testosterone is methane...
murlocholmes 5
why thank you, sir. yours looks sweet as well
PandaPandy 6
Lol smart XD
FifaFtw 0
Damn dog
HannahMarshall 6
Well, that stinks
WhiteBoyThatCan 0
win ^
Kd_lra 3
^No.
bellakaykid 6
haha punny!
everybodyluvsMEN 0
I c wut u did thar
beanieboy0789 0
maybe he wanted you to quit tickling his prostate?
FifaFtw 0
didn't you read the post? The dog did it !
bigmanj28 0
That's the stank
loveexgirl 15
ha classic he blames it on the dog.
knights95 9
At least he didn't try to blame it on Op.
loveexgirl 15
true true ...
EMTchic 14
My fiancé did that too (farted during sex), except he just blamed it on me =// and I read another post where some guy blamed it on a "nearby frog" . . . what is with guys these days ???
ryno101 3
chics queef all the time, why can't a guy fart?
iFizzgig 11
I actually agree with this.
RedPillSucks 33
erm.... If queefs smell like farts, there's a serious hygiene problem.
chaoticnh 0
because women can fart too, that's why queefs are disgusting.
Harpy20 24
Are you really that dense?
harmonicsoul 3
In that situation, queefing could mean that the women is enjoying herself... And it doesn't smell. it shouldn't be a mood killer, nor should the occasional fart be. It's natural.
EffinToofer 3
Women can't control that. And it probably means she's well lubricated and enjoying herself.
LuukBaas 0
^ sure women can't control it, bit
slinkydee 2
As if farting is cool just because a girl queefs?! if a girl queefs, it is because air that is thrust into the ****** during sex is coming out, which usually means some good sex is happening so its a good thing! As opposed to smelly gas that comes from an asshole.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
the more you smell it, and accept it the more he loves you.
junz_fml 0
Wear your clothes and get out immediately.