claytwin
United States
Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML
Top comments
picante72 24
Oh shart...
Pleonasm 36
They said "hall pass, please" "not haul ass, please!" No need to get off on such a bad shart.
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Comments (128)
accursedvenom 1
smh
picante72 24
Oh shart...
hama806 19
Oh...I think he just pooted...
MelTheGreat 23
Toot it and poot it.
evig_fml 16
He pooped himself.
AKGirlinSD 20
Finally, a shit pun comment that is original and funny! OP, if your stomach wasn't feeling right, you should never assume only gas will exit when you open your bottom gate. Sorry you had to learn the crappy way.
LeFrogDog 27
he's just doing he's duty
waffule365 16
Sounds like a shitty situation.
upyourzlolz 11
NO! *decapitates waffule's head*
isallwaysme 27
Nonononono. Do you people never learn? "that's shitty" puns ALWAYS get thumbed down because they're overused and stupid.
lilhellian 27
Don't forget murdered!:D Nice choice #6
iAlissa 34
What an original comment.
Giluh 19
I remember when they were once thought of as clever and funny on this site! Oh how quickly things change.
andyyroxx 20
35- Your comment is just as guilty.
greenie213 23
9-You have a capitalization error Mr. Grammar Nazi.
iAlissa 34
61- That is true. I accept it.
isallwaysme 27
64, I realized that after I posted, I'm ashamed of myself. I'm actually a Grammatical Nazi to be anal about it. My picture is hypocritical because it is incorrect grammar to call myself a "Grammar Nazi" but I cannot find a "Grammatical Nazi" picture on my phone :(
AKGirlinSD 20
I took 35's comment sarcastically. Someone pointed out that if I'm making a sarcastic comment, I shouldn't have to write, "*enter sarcasm here*." But 35's wasn't taken sarcastically and was thumbed down. So, do we need to point out that the comment is sarcastic or hope that it doesn't go over most people's heads?
SillyGirl4602 23
111- It did not go over anyone's head. Everyone understood it was sarcasm. It was not clever.
Pleonasm 36
They said "hall pass, please" "not haul ass, please!" No need to get off on such a bad shart.
Googolman 29
Well, what else came out??
fuzz97 23
are you daft?
isallwaysme 27
OP shit their pants. So bluntly put.
Googolman 29
Okay, before anyone thumbs me down or lectures me about my stupidity, let your mind be blessed with the knowledge that my comment was a joke, as I do not want to cause any ethical dilemmas. Thank you for your time.
Googolman 29
Replied too late. People are really unnerving.
HowieDoIt 21
Bad puns came out, of course.
fuzz97 23
No, you see, for it to be a joke it has to be funny.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
21- I don't really get why acting clueless is considered funny in these situations...
mr_sarcastic416 29
Cant figure if that's trolling sarcasm or just stupid
CaptTeemo 10
A baby came out. Duh.
fuzz97 23
[insert pun about ******** yourself]
SomeRandomGuy15 18
[Insert witty reply]
fuzz97 23
[insert some sort of comment about grammar]
HiIAmKevin 8
65- Yes, my child?
gc327072 31
Insert my foot up all yall's asses.
SillyGirl4602 23
I don't understand why people make these comments.
fuzz97 23
Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot you don't understand
StrugsNotDrugs 19
Shit sucks, bro. No pun intended. Unless you want there to be. But seriously, that really sucks.
JJ_Rokk 10
I'll thumb up your comment, just because of your picture... Pink Floyd FTW...
Ella_fml 17
That's what restrooms are for. Better safe than sorry. Must have been awkward for both you and the professor...
BulldogHoops 14
For some reason I doubt the OP continued into the room fresh off dropping ass in their pants.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Well obviously, the OP didn't expect to drop a load just by letting out a fart... At least it was outside and not inside with the professor...
onlychildFTW 34
I'm sure he would go to the bathroom in the toilet if he could have. Haha. Diapers when not feeling great = good idea.
McAninch35 9
I heard a story on the radio once about a dude who wore adult diapers on long road trips. Are you THAT guy, 86...?
Grauncho 27
Only a little gassy huh.
MrSassypants 34
Well, not gassy, but "solidy". I hope at least it was solid.
dontpanic_fml 32
That's not usually how it works...
SomeRandomGuy15 18
33- it can be liquidy too!
Yessi_Boo 14
Tell him about your stomach ache. when he smells it, he wont make you stay, will probably excuse you from class & you can go home to wipe your ass :Dv
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Personally, I would have just left a note or something so he wouldn't have to smell it, then hopefully explain the situation in detail later...
thatonename 7
Really? If I shat my damn pants, I don't care what responsibilities I'm abandoning, I'm going home ASAP. Although the thought of OP either having a conversation or standing there writing a note with a load in their pants is rather hilarious. (If anyone wants to help with comma I'm sure is supposed to be somewhere in the last sentence, feel free)