Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML
Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
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Top comments
TidusBlade 0
Ouch that must have sucked, be sure to pull the same prank on her whenever you get the chance ;P
heathcoate 0
Hahahahaha. Tricked your dick.
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Comments (319)
aeris_fml 0
Ha! I'm totally going to do that one day.
cthulhu1138 1
Take her shopping, then she goes to the register, say "just kidding". Or, next time you're having sex you could "accidentally" stick it in her ass.
omga 0
that's hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!
becky_becks 0
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH! That's something I would do to my boyfriend. :P
tiltwrestler 0
I'm HOPING that after saying "just kidding", she said jk again and actually finished what she started. If she seriously wouldn't give you satisfaction after doing that, that's just Fd up. Id have a serious talk with her about the mutual benefits of sexual activity. Or maybe you should go down on her more often. That always works for me, you should try it. Then once she cant live without it, TAKE IT AWAY if she doesn't give you head/sex!
foom101 0
#93, that's disrespectful.
Gongju_Mama 2
LOL. It's rude, not disrespectful. Whoever heard of "If you pretend you're gonna suck on my penis but you don't that's disrespectful."
rukusrazor 0
Whats really funny is that 2 years or so from now when she is serious, and you're tired of that shit.. You'll stop her and tell her she's in the way of the t.v.
roflcopter1 0
looks like another night with ur right hand lmfao
Tsukasa_fml 0
Not funny, just cruel. Agreed with a "just kidding" note in a ring box. Give her a taste of her own medicine.
Weil 0
You should have raped her.