Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Cut it out
Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Turned off
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Bad sign
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Mood: broken
Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML
Overbearing girlfriend
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
Top comments
aggiegirl95 7
I don't know what you're complaining about, Kool-Aid Man is sexy as hell.
tylercoffman420 19
oh no! oh no! OH YEA! (koolaid man breaks through wall)
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Comments (60)
kenwolfy 14
My significant other never sends me anything
derangedplanet 23
I have actually had this happen. my husband regularly says it that way just cuz he finds it funny. he did it once when we were wrestling. I no longer felt the want to remove his clothes.
squizzlebee 19
My boyfriend and I don't find sex nearly as fun if we're not laughing at something during it. It's usually some embarrassing noise our bodies make x)
Railroader 16
Just remember to keep it kool.
Nissi 17
"We getting"? Who moderated this?
Stuby14 19
I'm not sure exactly, but I wish they would have caught it.
sillygirl247 14
that's your fault
ad1836 19
LOL
ZackKP 11
oh come on man now i am thirsty...
NYGiants1925 22
That just sounds hilarious, f no one's life.
CoffeeGirl2000 7
It probably would have been funnier if you pictured your girlfriend crashing through your wall too