Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
macystar 14
Well, look on the bright side. Technically you're still a virgin. So she can still be your first.
TheAlchemist22 9
oh my god you poor soul
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (95)
perdix 31
If an ottoman pops out after nine months, you should probably leave town and never accept an invitation to the Maury show.
fml0505 22
This happened to a friend of mine, except the girl didn't tell him and she just let him bang her bed sheets the whole time. She told everyone else, though. Poor guy.
christy0708 6
I don't know what to say to this
gmian 34
So why comment?
Federgirl 19
next time go easy on the liquor!!
tishtashbat 16
I have a friend who took home a guy once who proceeded to basically just hump her leg. I'm pretty sure he was just really drunk and not a virgin, but at least this awkward moment was with your girlfriend, not a stranger who will tell all her friends about it.
worldclassrager 41
Drunk sex can be fun just make sure you know what you are doing...
Omniprism 15
She should have "guided" you.
nyikkins 11
At least you realised before you got friction burn. Yikes.
mikedorval 10
Bms
perdix 31
This is "Sofa King" funny!