Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML
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Top comments
TurboKill1 0
She's a keeper, haha.
AliSama 17
unless she is drunk 24/7 it;s a joke. grow up.
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Comments (75)
TurboKill1 0
She's a keeper, haha.
z620 0
haha u set urself up for that
BuddyChristSays 0
dude I'm pretty sure she was kidding or else y would she stay with u unless she's wasted 24/7
owneditup 0
maybe she likes your ever so apparent sence of humor... learn to take a joke
CaptaiNiLL 0
girlfriend ftw
AliSama 17
unless she is drunk 24/7 it;s a joke. grow up.
Cormophyte 0
At least she's still on the couch. More lucky than ******, unless she dumps you. Then it's ******.
tsax421 0
dude - thats awesome. If she didn't like you, she wouldn't still be there. This reminds me of Wayne's World in the sense that if she gets drunk and leaves when she's sober, it was never meant to be. But if she stays when she's sober (assuming she's hot), well thats not half bad.
drybamboo 0
Yay, you have a girlfriend with a sense of humor. How is that FML?
tw0 0
@1 agreed.
tmills_fml 0
Instead of saying "I was drunk", mine says she's "taking one for the team". No FML there.
virgin4life 0
um shut up you dumb shit at least you have someone and she was kidding this is not an FML moment it's not embarassing and it's not entertaining for us either. are you just taking this as an opportunity to tell us you're getting ass?
Cloudy_fml 0
Today, someone made a joke and I didn't get it. FML
chaaoos0013 0
Dork