Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that sometimes when my girlfriend is mad at me she will allow our unfixed male dog to jack off on my pillows when I'm at work. She won the battle and the war. FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my girlfriend went on yet another long-winded rant about how dogs are family and should be treated as such, whilst stuffing her face with ribs. I asked her what the difference was between a dog and the pile of pig parts on her plate. Her only response was to call me a monster and dump me. FML
Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I call my tiger "kitten". Makes him even more adorable.
pwnman 33
Not only she is a bad girlfriend, it is needless to say that she is a bad dog owner.
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Comments (166)
neverfear 6
Dang!
rktm 1
run away man. she's gonna trouble!
grimrepa2007 3
2 bitches at once man. sucks bro.
FlashOfHope 10
What makes it hard to decide who was in the right, we need the full story. Op could have hit her or made a nasty threat for all we know. Yes, girlfriend could be crazy, but this could just as well be a crazy boyfriend. I'd set a dog on someone who hits or threatens me. Without being there, there is no way to know what actually happened. I can't say I feel bad for you and I also can't say you deserve it. Only 2 people and a dog knows what happened.
skyeyez9 25
For all we know, OP could have omitted the part where he violated the restraining order against him. Which is why she sent "Puppy" after him.
ratorr2 23
For all we know he could be her father. The point is that we can only judge any of these FML's on what is presented to us. You can't condemn a person for something you don't even know. It is possible that he was physically threatening her but it is also possible that he wasn't. We don't know because it wasn't part of the post and can't be assumed or deduced by what was given. On that matter, all of these FML's could be fake (not saying that they are but it's possible). Judging from what was told in this post, I say she was wrong to use her dog to help her win the argument and a bad pet owner for doing so. He needs to stay away from this girl and she needs her dog taken away and given to someone more responsible with animals.
tiny1972 12
Shocked how many YDI there are. Short of being restrained and prevented from leaving there or threatended with deadly force there is never a reason to use violence on another person
tiny1972 12
Oops. Forgot to use spell check. Sorry about that
Narcoterrorist 6
If I were you, I would press assault charges and smile at the thought of her getting fingerraped by her fellow butch inmates.
sniper4613 13
Sue that bitches ass for assault
TheAngryPrincess 3
Sue her.
tommygunkid 4
You realize the guy is probably in the hospital right?
olpally 33
What a psycho bitch. Get her arrested for assault or something. That's not cool.
abc1234321cba 1
Did no one notice that op said she set the dog on him. That could mean she placed him on his lap, not had the dog attack him...
ball_crusher 4
dude, no.