Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML
Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML
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Top comments
disturbedchic 0
Prolly time to get a new "future" wife. The sooner you know these things the better.
Jethro_fml 0
You sure can pick 'em. Jet
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Comments (92)
KkBeAr 0
well i can tell your parents are telling ya to loose her now
ozymandias_fml 0
You stay classy. Maybe grow out a mullet to fit in with her family when you meet them.
22jrdn55 15
well im pretty sure she gave the right impression!
Klabauterpete 0
Better before than after marriage, huh.
I_am_stupid_also 6
If the dad really is a piece of shit, then she is awesome to say that to his face. Need more context about the eye gouging.
ladycoyote 0
That sounds a lot like my brother's current "future" wife.
misspeg 0
hmm my guess with this is that OP must have real problems in the looks department and just grabbed on2 the first loony that would be with him.
cryssycakesx3 23
that also appears to be what happened to you...
Eltsc 0
Sounds like a keeper.
BigD3452 6
dump her quick fast and in a hurry! but judging by the way this is written your a no ball pussy loser enjoy the crazy bitch
mandudeman 0
Where did u pick her up? a bar? buddy i think u need to man up and get a real girl. ur making men everywhere look bad. u deserve it.