Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML
Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML
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Top comments
disturbedchic 0
Prolly time to get a new "future" wife. The sooner you know these things the better.
Jethro_fml 0
You sure can pick 'em. Jet
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Comments (92)
Allymeme 3
So I take it when you put future in the quotations, it means you're dumping her... at least I hope that is what it means.
Allymeme 3
I'm hoping you are breaking up with her, or thinking about it. The part with the future in quotations kind of makes me wonder... I just have to wonder why you proposed before your family met her.
containsnosoy 0
Ah, but this is something you've put yourself into. The solution is so simple.
danzigPO_1939 0
If she's only this crazy when she's drunk, there's still a chance that this could work, provided she makes a commitment to stay away from alcohol. Which is a challenge in itself :/ it's just a question of whether or not you thing it's worth it and if it's possible. Still, embarrassing for her, and if she's an alcoholic, FHL.
RubixMonkey 0
THINK OF THE CHILDREN. No litterally, think of how drunk ass your babies will be and how psycho their mom is. Getting drunk to "calm your nerves" before picture day in third grade will only be the start will little Jimmy starts calling grandpa a "piece of poop" and how he didn't mean to poke grandma's eyes out with the safety scissors, it was the wine box.
mk58 31
Mmmm, that hot dog looks delicious, 88.
99MDC 0
Smack a hoe. No, no. But seriously, Id consider marriage a little more.
wellthatsucksss 0
Oo. Burn.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Well, maybe your dad shouldn't have been a piece of shit. :P Really, though, punch her in the face be being embarrassing. She sure makes good first impressions.
Ez_DuZ_iT 0
damage cant be fixed get some one las time and break up with her just as u finish
Spaceghost77 0
Give her buttsecks and dump her.