Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML
Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML
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Top comments
disturbedchic 0
Prolly time to get a new "future" wife. The sooner you know these things the better.
Jethro_fml 0
You sure can pick 'em. Jet
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Comments (92)
plexico 4
Well, is your dad a piece of shit? Is your mom so ugly that people who behold her want to tear their own eyes out? There's an old Latin saying, "In vino veritas" or "There is truth in wine." Maybe the alcohol brought out the truth. If not, dump her at an AA meeting.
ScaryyMary 14
You know how they made a book of FMLs? There needs to be a sequel that's a compilation of your comments on FMLs.
Inverted 0
I'd read that shit
Jewelofagal 2
Hope you've dumped her. It'll only go downhill from here.
Intellectualist 0
Dump her! She's a crazy, and if you date a crazy for too long, you'll catch it, and then, things will be bad.
evaDZNwanna 0
wow... i would have been really flattered if my significant other said that to me.... what an oversensitive conceded bitch!
yourkiddingright_fml 0
conceited!
kukopia 0
So ya have mom do something with her eyes while dad helps you strip the 'FW' for fun pics when she's passed out.
Sweny 0
Ydi for letting her get that drunk
I_am_stupid_also 6
So is your dad a piece of shit?
buttseckz 0
is she hot?
Zomlette 0
Sounds like a real winner.
bosshaug 0
Uhhh the girl you plan to be your wife is just now meeting them? I call fake