Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Freak out
Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML
Pranked
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
Ring of fire
Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Today, I wanted to prank my roommate. So, I thought it would be funny to take all the toilet paper out of our bathroom. She thought it would be funny to wipe with my cashmere sweater. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Funny, huh?
Today, after having an upset stomach for two days, I thought it would be funny to rip a fart in front of two teen boys at the hardware store. It wasn’t until I crapped myself wearing shorts and it ran down my leg into my sock that I realized it wasn’t at all “funny.” FML
Happy Easter!
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML
Top comments
MermaidSongXOXO 6
And it was. Your point?
smbridges 15
yea i agree with #8 you should have seen the discoloration of ur tp i mean unless ur tp is usually orange!!
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Comments (175)
Sindyy 0
It IS funny. :D I feel sorry for you though. By the way everyone, nowhere in the FML does it say the OP used the toilet paper. Maybe he/she took a dump and needed it, then noticed it was covered in hot sauce, as Freeze said. Could have happened, because I for one don't check the color of my toilet paper BEFORE wiping.
Sindyy 0
Maybe it was the only roll of toilet paper the OP had left. But I don't know.
daydreamstar 7
i wonder if this is the guy who felt bad about using toilet paper with butterflies on it... awesome april fools prank
Batman4890 0
incase you haven't realised it's February
meekerboulder 0
seriously dumbass didn't u see the red paper? why would u wipe ur ass with red soaked paper??? looks like blood for one? man u are a stupid messed up dumbfuck. surprised u can actually live on ur own!!!!!
Freeze_fml 17
Nowhere in the FML does it say the OP used the toilet paper.
Sekococo 0
your poor stool got burn due to your blindness :D
CYNNER 0
It doesn't say whether or not he used it. It also wouldn't have been noticeable if they diluted it a little bit or if it was already colored toilet paper. Either way its inconvenient.
clumsyjazzy 0
lol, maybe he or she didn't c the reddish orange on the toilet paper because he/she might of thought those were their dookie stains! just a thought!? lol
ily1210 10
lesson learned: look at the toilet paper before using it :)
goatboy197 0
owwww! FYL for sure!
wubu18 6
lame
derschadenfreude 5
Man, that's low. Who would do that to a blind person?