Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I had just sat down and taken a dump in a public restroom when I realized there was no toilet paper. I tried to discreetly call for help, but no one heard me. My only option was to text a friend and have them bring me some. The worst part? My friend ended up texting me, "You called for backup?" as I waited in humiliation. FML
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
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Top comments
your_ma 27
How could you post this without telling us what you picked?!
liv_graham 7
use their towels
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Comments (170)
your_ma 27
How could you post this without telling us what you picked?!
lilhellian 27
I'm more curious as to why op didn't follow bathroom rule #1: always check for toilet paper.
blackman100 20
The answer is duct tape. You just use the non sticky side.
error404n0tf0und 21
who walks around with Saran wrap, sand paper or duck tape?
peacelovecoffee 20
Search before you perch.
Chelsea_bella 20
52 - A serial killer.
mokielove 10
lmmfao
soccerstar1996 18
Saran Wrap or simulate the effects of anal rape
Matt_greener 8
Opposite side of sandpaper
rawr_ily96 24
#49 It'll get stuck to your hand! You put Saran wrap over the sticky side of the duct tape, then wipe with the non-sticky side of the duct tape so it doesn't do that.
EsotericBrent 29
#80's been there before, apparently
StalkerChick 13
30- maybe it was groundhogging and OP didn't have time.
EMTchic 14
Me personally, I would have gone with the saran wrap...
jackiemora 18
I'm waiting for the follow up, lol.
SwaggCapone 11
use the shower curtain then ask how they like your decision
Karalela44 15
Yeah I think the saran wrap would be the best way to go other than the fact that you'd feel everything like it was your hand :/
NagainaFier 16
#53, I think that has become my new mantra.
tnlander 20
#100-Like a boss!!!
Bloodjoker 11
Your trying to tell me! That you've never wiped with duct tape? Just use the sticky side. I promise cleanest wipe you've ever had :-P
CTMPandemonium 16
#134 Bonus hair removal for those pesky hairs you can't get rid of too!! :) #100 Like a boss!!!
ajh557 22
Or the wrap, it's almost the same thing
liv_graham 7
use their towels
countryrose92 23
Gross, yes but I agree, use the towels. they deserve it for not giving you tp. But at the same time, why didn't you check before sitting down? Ydi too
patrickalamo 48
Or you socks... Then clog the pipes.
captainObviously 15
Or the dog!
browneyedgirl52 13
Or if there are girls in the house, pads are a great option as well.
speshlk37 13
Or three seashells.
drewflav 17
51 - There was a FML awhile back involving a grandfather who walked into the bathroom to do his business and only came out with a single sock on. Similar situation, no toilet paper.
guitarst1071995 12
Back of the duct tape. Not too hard of a decision.
TheUnknown_fml 9
Don't forget to fold it together first so it doesn't stick to your hand. Lol
cyborg6541 6
And be sure to use a lot, and flush it for good measure!
jackiemora 18
Exactly what I was thinking. Lol, they need to update on their prank ideas.
iSmellMusic 8
37 - OR they can not be huge dicks and give the damn guy some toilet paper, y'know?
jackiemora 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#122 they're boys. When aren't they assholes?
doodlecloud 27
I am the only one that thinks the back of the duct tape is an awful idea? I'm imagining cuts from sharp folds and edges or just smearing depending on how you'd 'fold' it. I suggest sitting in the sink and washing it off, maybe wrapping your hand in saran wrap beforehand to make it less gross (though really, even if it did get on you, you'd be washing it off immediately anyway). A shower would be even better if they have one.
Condor002 2
I agree. I think duct tape would not be wide enough.
vivian_rae 8
Are your friends by any chance related to Jigsaw?
zachattack112492 4
I want to play a game
superrocket19 17
The choice is yours.
alexh15 13
Let the game begin
scarletclaw 11
OP you have some 'crapy' friends. I think you should 'dump' them.
Smoxxii 17
Your friends seem fun.
alanvazquez1 13
Heck yea but sucks for you my friend
Pleonasm 36
Ductape the saran wrap AROUND the sand paper and then you have somethig with consistency that doesn't itch. You win.
Wizardo 34
"OP, I would like to play a game..."
misspulkadot24 17
Yea. McGyver that shit!
melons 44
Hmmm, that doesn't sound very absorbent though, a bit like the Izal toilet paper we used to have to put up with at school.
lilkeykey14 5
Lol XD How long did it take you to think that up??
Connect 10
Use their toothbrush, and don't tell them you've used it. They'll find out soon enough.
BlackRogue 8
No, no. Don't sniff. Whatever else you do, don't sniff.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
You obviously trade those to the magical TP fairy. No, but, seriously, that is both creative and messed up at the same time. FYL, OP!
WhisperSoflty 20
Definitely Saran Wrap. Sure, it's slick, but you can wrap it up inside of itself to mute the smell. Regardless of what you picked, though, your friends are assholes. Hilarious, evil assholes.
Success4444 12
How do you mute a smell?
HouseElf 13
You tell it to shut the **** up. And then apologise because that was a bit harsh, and give it a cookie instead.
123man 11
Use the saran wrap and then ball it up. Then use the duct tape make a sticky poo-ball to throw at your "friends."
jackiemora 18
Evil genius, counter-attack LOL