Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends and I noticed that people, no matter what stereotype, pretty much all have the same type of friends: the mean one, the funny one, etc., and started naming off the people in our group who fit into those personalities. We got to the token fat one, everyone looked at me and stopped talking. FML
Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML
Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So, are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Butterbuns 1
....Wow. YDI, for being lame enough to BE comparing dick sizes with your friends. Do you not have anything better to do?
henri_fml 0
didn't you know the size of your own dick before you entered a measuring contest?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (269)
mamamc 3
a bunch of guys comparing dick sizes - that in itself is wierd - be careful of the guy who suggested doing it!
xdeathangel771 0
this is why i dont use the school lockerrooms
stingray08 3
wow that is te gayest thing I have ever heard
megalan 0
how many of u fags were there?
airforce987 20
you must be a ****
my_user_name 7
This could have stopped after the first sentence and still been an FML. Why would you be comparing dick sizes?? And to number 237, seeing your friend naked while changing is not a big deal in the US either, for most guys. There is a big difference between catching a glimpse of a naked man and deliberately stripping with all of your friends to compare. Why would you want to know in the first place? Would it really make your life better to have the biggest dick in the group? It's just a terrible way to spend an afternoon.
varkey 7
are you guys gay? who the hell compares dick sizes???
upintheorange 5
you and your friends are some lame-ass homos.
stankynuts 0
That is extremely ****
twinsrhot 0
roflmfao, wow dude that sucks