Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friends and I noticed that people, no matter what stereotype, pretty much all have the same type of friends: the mean one, the funny one, etc., and started naming off the people in our group who fit into those personalities. We got to the token fat one, everyone looked at me and stopped talking. FML
Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML
Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So, are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
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Top comments
Butterbuns 1
....Wow. YDI, for being lame enough to BE comparing dick sizes with your friends. Do you not have anything better to do?
henri_fml 0
didn't you know the size of your own dick before you entered a measuring contest?
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Comments (269)
Njord09 2
aw thats a pitty, but hey you might have a better chance of getting anal than your friends. i mean being the top, since you are all gays for doing it :). You go girl, get those asses !
Osprey 0
Well now you can label your group of friends "gay".
Tommy_Trust 0
Uhm... I guess I would be sort of an expert on the subject, but gay guys are pretty phobic about showing the goods to other gay guys. In my experience, straight guys are surprisingly ready to grab eachothers' asses, stick their junk on a drunk dude's face and take pictures... Side note- http://www.salon.com/health/sex/urge/world/1999/11/04/size/ Yea.. it's true.
veritaserum 0
Wait.. Guys ACTUALLY do that ? =0
amstillives 0
That's gay shit. How does your small dick become hard. Are there guys that turn you on. Typical asian.
hsumalachi 0
generally asian girls have small v. so an asian guy kinda has to be small too. but unless you look at every asian guy size, then how would you know most asians are small? i'm asian and i'm big. but it's not really a good thing anyways since most women can only take 6 inches before you hit their wall.
NonchalantSavant 0
You were great in "The Hangover!"
AssOf2009 0
YDI for being retarded and weird. Who does that?
dspadres 0
You know, when people say "dick measuring contest" they don't mean that literally. What the **** is wrong with you?
eeee93757 0
So wait...you guys pulled your dicks out in front of each other? And managed to "get it up" while having nothing to look at but your friends' dicks? ROTFL you queer *****.
muffinsareyummy 1
penis pumps are your friends. they want to help you.