Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML
Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I misplaced my phone at small house party. I found it later, but not before being called a sick bastard by my crush. It seems one of my "friends" sent her a cock pic with my phone, and now she wants nothing to do with me. FML
Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML
Today, someone took my phone away. Why? Because I was texting my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me with one of my friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My best friend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML
Today, my friend's phone rang in class and my teacher thought it was me, so now I have detention for a week. FML
Today, when I was done masturbating to the thought of my crush I noticed my phone was lit up. I turned it over and stared in horror as I saw a call connected to him. I had been loudly moaning his name. I guess I hit his speed dial when I was setting my phone down. He was definitely still on the line. FML
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Top comments
kamikrazy 6
Do the same thing to her.
Wuuper 0
nice friend
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Comments (150)
xXDubbleChic 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
FYL you should show her how it feels to be stalked
I_R_Genius 3
Another bites the dust eh Kay?
VorpikeII 17
unfortunately I think your up next.
xXDubbleChic 11
wow r so cool.. -.-
xXDubbleChic 11
*ur
A7X_LoVeee 10
I believe it's you're.
IStoleTheCookies 16
^I also believe that.
JoshTheMaggot 8
I believe I can fly..
sarahgrace4 0
stalkers are fun hahaha
zendaddy0 0
well your in a *puts on sunglasses* sticky situation yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
chadcat 1
nice 51.
MoJu88 0
bitch.
unkhammun 5
i believe i'm Robocop.
jeffav51 0
85, your mom is
justalilrandom2 4
79 as much as I love a Horatio joke it has no place here, don't just reply on the first comment to get yours up to the top. I still liked I though...
justalilrandom2 4
"I still liked it though..."
TheFlyingMan 8
"though..."
PSQ91 6
"though"
justalilrandom2 4
Why is that in quotes?
FunkkmasterFlex 0
cuz the other guy said sunglasses in quotessss
Scoty12C 6
#1 You have beautiful eyes.
kamikrazy 6
Do the same thing to her.
chester75 5
shit I had a stalker once it was so freaken creepy. constant texting,calling my house at random times during the day, and leaving notes in my locker. my advise to you is be mean. see I was too nice, be straight forward tell him to get lost and that your friend is the one whose in love with him. killed two birds with one stone.
kiran_fml 5
I second 36
iLuvBunnies 0
I Agree.
Wuuper 0
nice friend
funkthat26 2
Sucks for her, yeah, but good for her friend. OP should just settle em up and thats it Lmao
chickunkey 0
Her friend sounds like a ******* creep. Phone sex with a creepy stranger? ew
smurfman44265034 0
kill her and bury her Under ur house
Katie_the_Great 6
5 you have problems :(
jess6blondie9 3
How are they going to bury them under a house? :O
toddlesscott 0
LOL!!!
Kallik 0
lol, it was just a joke(: ... or was it? O:
Kallik 0
lol, it was just a joke(: ... or was it? O:
Kallik 0
lol, it was just a joke(: ... or was it? O:
xx000o 27
Easy, use the crawlspace, or dig up the basement floor.
marriiee_fml 0
tell him it was your friend.. problem solved.
heathersmorin 0
Yea because an over obsessive douce is going to believe that.
heathersmorin 0
douche**
shulgafish 0
102 please tell me ur kidding bro, you mean you don't see anything wrong with what he's doing?
IndianRapper 0
What a great friend! :D
Prolusive 5
That is hardly what a great friend would do to you...
msmandy 0
umm... it's called sarcasm.
Dynoblaze 1
tell him you were on AT&T and it dropped the part where you said it was a one call fling
CTVrhythmguitari 8
that's weird lol
jess6blondie9 3
Wow. Some friend you've got there.
ThickHead 0
omg that's so funny, adding to favs! you made my day!