Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor… who is a cop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after my neighbor asked me to water her plants while she was away, and I carefully followed her instructions for 6 days, she came home. She stared at the living room and asked why I'd watered the fake plants but forgotten the real ones on the balcony. FML
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
Today, I met my neighbor. When she saw me cutting down trees on my lot, she interrogated me and called the police because she didn't believe I owned the property. She didn't call the cops when she watched someone steal a cord of wood from my property two days ago. FML
Today, I was doing a job for some people on my street cutting their bushes. After I had finished and went to get my pay, I realized I had gone to the wrong house. They called the police. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my grandmother in my living room, demanding to know where I'd been all day. I'm 22 and live by myself. She stole my mother's emergency key to get in. FML
Today, after I agreed to water my friend's plants while she was on vacation, she'd given me very specific instructions for each one, so I made a schedule and followed it carefully. When she came home, she stared at the plants and asked why her cactus was sitting in a bowl of water. I'd read the wrong line on the schedule all week. FML
Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML
Today, I was in the garden of my new house when a neighbour came over and told me to clear off or she would call the owner to tell them they were being burgled. When I told her I was the owner, she said I was clearly unsuitable to be living on this street, and to stop lying before she called the police. FML
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Top comments
mardigrasqueen 0
Between you and the genius who taunted the homeless guy, this website is reading like a who's who of human crap. YDI.
rxxk 0
YDI x ∞
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Comments (231)
rxxk 0
YDI x ∞
lovely997 0
agree
mardigrasqueen 0
Between you and the genius who taunted the homeless guy, this website is reading like a who's who of human crap. YDI.
Herbal_fml 0
Agreed. People need to stop claiming "FML" when getting caught doing illegal things, or being jerks (like the guy who taunted the homeless guy).
paperfox_fml 0
Eh? Call me a dirty hippie, but I think there's a slight difference between the evilness scores of taunting a homeless man, and asking your nan to water your somewhat unconventional houseplants... yeah, it's stupid, but I don't think the OP is 'human crap' for doing it. o.O
zoolander951 0
#36- agreed. But still, YDI. You should have just told her to make grandma's special brownies out of them when you were gone.
divineinstrument 2
The person who taunted the homeless guy is a ********, but having illegal plants does not make you a horrible person, unless they're plants you use to produce illegal drugs. The OP could have just had plants that are illegal because they're exotic.
lmmmr 0
But pawning the responsibility of those plants off on your grandmother and then faulting her when you reap the consequences of owning them does make you a horrible person. Less horrible than the other guy, but still really, really lame.
niemann2006 0
#3- that's pheobe's line in friends when talking about their dates!
orangef1zz 0
#36: There's a difference between "somewhat unconventional" and "illegal." OP: YDI, dumbshit.
mardigrasqueen 0
Yeah right.
scarlett29 0
#49 - pheobe's awesome. XD
smellymeaty 0
I'm not sure dangling a dollar in front of a homeless man is at quite the same level of illegality as what I believe is insinuated to be marijuana (just what I figure when I hear illegal plants).
Xdanicat 0
Haha, this reminds me of that failblog video of the police who was high on brownies. his wife had apparently baked pot brownies. "Time is going by really, really, really slow. I think we're dying." lmao.
suztheass 0
I don't think a regular cop would remember all the exotic plants illegal in that area. I vote mary jane.
Anawnymus 0
Yes, smoking marijuana makes you 'human crap'. And what the **** is your standard of a decent human being, asshole? **** you.
mardigrasqueen 0
Listen, I don't think that smoking or growing pot is the end of the world. Pot SHOULD be legal when you compare its dangers to the dangers of other things that ARE legal. However. I stand by my first statement which is that if you CHOOSE to grow a plant that you know is illegal, and then are STUPID enough to think that it's okay to ask your grandma to water the plant, and then you have the NERVE to feel sorry for yourself when that whole scheme backfires, then yes, you ARE human crap. Because IDIOT=HUMAN CRAP. Deal with it...or go get high, assume you won't/can't get caught, and forget about it. Whichever.
loblollies 0
that was my first thought after reading that! haha, oh Phoebe.
SpideyRules 9
You really think a cop knows what exotic plants are illegal?? Of course it was MJ dumbass!
prinny_fml 0
yeah because growing weed makes you a horrible person (sarcasm)
tpag3r 0
wow you are a total dumbass
PaganMoon 0
Brilliance personified. YDI. -laughs-
diabetic_rage 0
haha you dumbass
beginnersluck 0
Dumb-to-the-ass !
hottiegurl 0
Well you're stupid for having illegal plants when you have a cop next door.
kitties_fml 12
the grandmother asked HER neighbor. dumbass.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Actually, it reall was HIS neighbour. The OP stole this FML from the french website, and in the original it really was his neighbour who was the cop, not the grandmother's. On top of stealing someone else's FML, this guy screwed up when retelling it....
Batsumoto 4
Well if you had seen he was from belgium you'd understand that he speaks french as well. So there is a very good possibility that he posted it on VDM and later posted it in english on FML. And since french people are good at English as paraplegics are good at running you can't blame the guy for not entering correctly. Besides who doesn't have cannabis in his backyard:P
smellymeaty 0
Hahahaha, that is way too epic fail...
ShannonBananan76 0
wow...YDI for just havin that stuff
tina_xox 0
ahahaah agreed number #3 neways YDI obvi
Flanby15_fml 0
Already on VDM...
vokidas 0
I created an account just to say this... lol.
xhayy 0
What's VDM?
ejvlols 0
vie de merde, the french version of fml. it was out first
_electricbonbon 0
NOT EVERYONE HERE CAN READ FRENCH.
Flanby15_fml 0
yes but the aim of FML is not to be a translation of VDM!
Sports_guy3 28
When did VDM come out?
stereopump 0
It could, possibly, be the plant Salvia Divinorum. It looks very pretty, but when the leaves are dried and smoked it's a powerful hallucinogen. If you asked your grandma to water your pot plant though, then YDI...pot plants look ugly, and have no use beyond the drug.
Seti_fml 0
except for the fact that salvia is legal.
Yooh_Plus_Meh 0
i've heard that in some places salvia isn't illegal.
Sativus 0
Salvia is legal in most states. Pot plants are beautiful.
drunky25 0
salvia is very legal...and agreed
Koibito_fml 0
Actually, some studies go to show that pot can positivley affect long term memory, as well as improve speech. Drugs such as alcohol and cigarettes - which, in America, are completely legal (though I can't say the same for Belgium, as I'm uneducated in that) - are far, far more dangerous than weed. Even then, some states have worked to legalize the plant, and there are some places in California where it can be legally purchased with the intent to smoke it.
stereopump 0
In Illinois, where I live, it is illegal.