Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML
Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML
Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML
Today, my dad is still mad because I tossed his empty coffee can over 3 days ago. FML
Today, on my one day off from working in a bakery, my dad asked me to bake him a cake. I refused as I’m exhausted and didn’t want to bake. He then informed me it’s “not my choice” if I bake cakes or not, and if I want to keep living rent free in his house, I’ll “bake the fucking cake.” FML
Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML
Today, my dad undermined my life's work. I finally opened my own bakery, but my dad told me it's a "sissies job" since it doesn't involve manual labour like he did for 50 years and I'll probably go out of business, because no one will want cakes from a 6 foot 8 man with tattoos, piercings and a shaved head. FML
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Top comments
GirlYouNasty 11
Just tell him it's decaf.
Batterypost 23
Actually, most hamburgers are 100% beef, while ham is pork. The more you know.
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Comments (169)
vanaathiel 13
When I make coffee cake there is coffee in it.
moneybagz131 6
In Mexico the hamburgers have ham. It's really quite delicious.
SarcasticUnicorn 9
Yeah that was exactly what I had been thinking.
frostbite_x5 2
misconception, there is rarely ham in hamburgers. it is usually a cheap burger with mixed meats, but an original patty is all beef. It's only called a hamburger because it's origins, yet mysterious, is mostly traced back to hamburg, germany. In america, we probably dropped the ham part, because one, no ham in it, two, some say it was originally made in a county fair in missouri.
MuseFan1991 14
dear god, people, don't you read previous comments? SOME recipes for coffee cake use actual coffee, SOME use coffee essence and SOME just have it with coffee. as for hamburgers, no, they arent really made of ham! *exhale* rant over
Ph3n0m_fml 0
Actually, there's more coffee, in coffeecake than there is ham on hamburger.. Ham is 33.33% of hamburger and coffee is 60% of coffee cake
xNephilim 19
The cake would NEVER finish baking if it was 60% coffee. There has to be a certain ratio of liquid to dry ingredients, plus binders, or you'll have an extremely wet or liquid or dry and crumbly cake.
RelaxingPlace 11
Since you bought it, check the back of the packet. If the ingredients have a caffine warning you're an idiot, if not you're good to go.
TehBatman 0
*facepalm*
Atli 1
FYI there is coffee in coffee cake, hence the taste...
hi225 1
Bacon burgers have pig, pig is ham. Bacon burgers are burgers therefor some burgers have ham
noodleboix 10
there is no ham in hamburgers.....