Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today. I was sitting up having coffee early in the morning, still half-asleep. My dad walked in, getting ready for work. He asked if that was my water sitting there. He thought it must've be his, so he took a big gulp. OMG, I'd forgotten I'd poured a glass of pure white vinegar last night. His face was absolutely hilarious. FML
Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML
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Top comments
patrickalamo 48
Remind him you will be picking out his nursing home.
Isoldael 27
My parents use the other approach: "Would you like some coffee?" "Sure!" "Good, then make me some too!"
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Comments (78)
patrickalamo 48
Remind him you will be picking out his nursing home.
RaggleFrock 13
It's not as straightforward process picking a nursing home as you would think. Go with the first one that says yes... They are normally the most desperate for money.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Nursing home? Really? imagine they'd done the same to you when you couldn't feed, clothe, bathe or clean yourself... gosh you're thankful aren't you!!
APersonalProblem 13
LMFAO I already have one picked out for mine.
tomhofer 14
I like pizza
DontClickOnMe 28
He could've just told you no.. oh, but wait. Where's the fun in that?
Isoldael 27
My parents use the other approach: "Would you like some coffee?" "Sure!" "Good, then make me some too!"
skoob1 12
Mine prefer, "Lu-gi-seph-skoob, go insert command here, and while you're at it, grab me a(n) insert alcoholic beverage here" anyone with a sibling gets the whole name splicing thing. Btw if you put things between carrots like HTML commands, they disappear.
BlitheNightmare 7
I figured it out, he is saying that the parent would start saying one name, then another, before finally getting the right person. Then ask them to do something and ask them to get an alcoholic beverage while they are at it. For example, "Luc... Gor... JAKE, would you feed the dog and grab me a beer while you're at it?" Hope that clears it up.
trivel64 16
Wait, so then what was that crap about the carrots...?
xoky720 6
That's what Im wondering!
BlitheNightmare 7
73- I have no clue, maybe he had a stroke and forgot what he was talking about.
BlitheNightmare 7
70- That is what I am here for... sort of... not really...
BadKitty13 28
asshole
MrSassypants 34
You were pretty off when trying to type in the google search bar.
LolFMLnot 10
These days there are too many troll parents
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
You say that like it's a bad thing..
MidnaLink 35
38 try saying that near an injury based story!
sens3sfailing 25
well when the consequences are a mouthful of salty coffee, I don't think the parents trolling is out of hand. whe. it draws blood, then it goes past being a troll and enters a dofferent catagory.
Kal3Y 12
Next time he asks you to do something, troll him right back! ;D
kumonsucks 7
Take all the sugar and replace with salt. Lets play
teresee 8
next time he asks you to get him a beer, shake it and say "next time, get it yourself" when he opens it as it explodes all over him.
ElatedEarthling 15
I sense a prank war coming on. Beware of dye in the shampoo and dog poop under pillowcases. It's ON!
Coop817 19
If she wants to end it, nair in the shampoo should do the trick Just be sure to have a secret stash of shampoo that he can't contaminate
PunkySpunky78 15
More like nair in the conditioner since it will sit on the hair for few minutes and don't you think the smell of nair will be giveaway? Nair has strong smell
ElatedEarthling 15
What about Rogain in the shaving cream? They'll wonder why the hair just keeps growing back...
Ajwc101 24
I didn't mean to thumb you down, Sorry.
trulymickeyj 13
59- You are so nice for that.